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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello all,
Just submitting my second book narration for feedback, I appreciate it..
Thanks!
Where the Wild Things Are:
The night wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind
and another
and another
his mother called him “WILD THING!”
and Max said “I’LL EAT YOU UP!”
so he was sent to bed without eating anything.
That very night in Max’s room a forest grew
and grewand
grew until his ceiling hung with vines
and the walls became the world all around
and an ocean tumbled by with a private boat for Max
and he sailed off through night and day
and in and out of weeks
and almost over a year
to where the wild things are.
And when he came to the place where the wild things are
they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth
and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws
till Max said “BE STILL!”
and tamed with the magic trick
of staring into all their yellow eyes without blinking once
and they were frightened and called him the most wild thing of all
and made him king of all wild things.
“And now,” cried Max, “let the wild rumpus start!”
“Now stop!” Max said and sent the wild things off to bed without their supper.
And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where
someone loved him best of all.
Then all around from far away across the world
he smelled good things to eat
so he gave up being king of where the wild things are.
But the wild things cried, “Oh please don’t gowe’ll
eat you up-we love you so!”
And Max said, “No!”
The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth
and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws
but Max stepped into his private boat and waved good-bye
and sailed back over a year
and in and out of weeks
and through a day
and into the night of his very own room
where he found his supper waiting for him
and it was still hot. -
Hi you guys. I was pretty excited to do this script i just hope I sound good on the recording. Glad to hear you guys critique’s.
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Hey Stas! Nice voice! My impression? Look into getting your recording space set up. The Movie Gallery spot sounds like you’re talking to someone in a pub, BUT that’s good because you sound natural in the presentation! Perhaps slow down a bit on both and really enunciate words; watch the S’s and the P’s (pop filter).
Rock On!
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Hello ladies & gentlemen
Here is another homework assignment. Take a listen and let me know what you guys think.
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Ok… a couple of other reads for homework. The Chevy one went towards the promo style which I need to work on. Thanks!
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Marco;
Hey, I have the sense you’re trying to go with voices you have heard in commercials, or this just may be you?
Oh yea, k**l those pauses for sure, make it flow and use some deflection up and down to delineate lists of things.
Learning to edit breath sounds out as well as the pauses, with your recording software?
Rock On! -
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Hi Marco
I absolutely LOVE your voice! I listened to the history channel recording. I thought your tone definitely went well with the script. However, I believe the pauses in between the words were to long. If this was for a sleep commercial then I would love the pauses, but because it’s a history channel I believe there should be less pause in between. Hope that makes sense.
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Hey everybody. Working on energy shifting in commercial reads. Feedback is always welcomed! Thanks!
WEELEARN
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STRENGTHEN YOUR MIND AND SPIRIT, BECOME A MORE POSITIVE INFLUENCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, PURSUE SUCCESS MORE CONFIDENTLY AT WORK, AND SO MUCH MORE.DON’T BE STUCK IN LIFE, LOVE, WORK – OR ANYTHING!
TRY WEELEARN FOR YOURSELF TODAY.
WEELEARN – LEARNING THROUGH WATCHING.JCPENNEY
YOUR BRAIN HAS 2 SIDES.
THE RIGHT SIDE: CREATIVE, BUYS THINGS, HAS FUN.
THE LEFT SIDE: ORGANIZED, PRACTICAL, SAVES MONEY.
NOW JC PENNEY MAKES BOTH SIDES HAPPY.
IT’S THE BUY MORE, SAVE MORE SALE. IT’S SIMPLE, THE MORE YOU BUY, THE MORE YOU SAVE. 20 TO 30%.
SO USE YOUR HEAD. BUY MORE. SAVE MORE.
ONLY AT JC PENNEY.
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Hi Caryn – Sounds really great! I’m a newbie but noticed that some of your words, like “a” in the “Weelearn” script, and “to” in the JC Penny script sound like you are reading. Try to use the “uh” sound for “a”, and “tuh” for “to”. Also, for “Buy more save more sale”, I wouldn’t pause after “Buy more” because it seems like the “Buy more save more” is the name of the sale and is one unit.
Just my 2 cents from a very newbie – so take my advice with a grain of salt.
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Het Caryn,
I loved your Weelearn read. I can learn from your prosody, and warm, reassuring tone. I liked the pace and was engaged throughout. As a newbie it was hard for me to point out an area for improvement, except to enunciate the word “confidently” more, I heard “Cofidently”.
I liked JCPenney too, real and relatable. I would stress on the key word “two” and use distinct tones for the right side and left side lines. Also try a big smile on the word happy. Great read overall.
Rosy
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Another post
Geico
Savings Is Just The Start. It starts with getting a quote to see if you cold save 15% or more on car insurance. From there, you’ll discover the comfort of 24/7 service with a licensed agent, the fast, fair, professional claim handling and why, for over 75 years, GEICO has been the choice of millions of drivers for all their insurance needs. -
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Hi Community,
Been a while since last post. Please provide feedback on this read.Kellogg’s Raisin Bran
Real Honey. Whole Grain Oats. A new spin on Kellogg’s Raisin Bran. Introducing Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Toasted Oats and Honey. Get the two scoops of fiber-rich flakes you love, now with toasted whole-grain oats and a touch of real honey. New Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Toasted Oats and Honey.
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Hi Evette,
Great work on this commercial! I could hear the smile in your voice and it was a smooth read. It feels like there is some repetition in this script(real honey, toasted oats, etc.) so maybe leaning into that and varying the way you say it each time could add some variety to the read. Again, great job!
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