Feedback Forum
- This topic has 9,744 replies, 673 voices, and was last updated 2 days, 15 hours ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Would love some feedback on this commercial read for Honey Bunches of Oats:
It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.
-
-
-
-
Hi everyone! Below I’m attaching 3 scripts for your review and feedback. They’re all for a narration demo. What do you think? Too fast, too slow, emphasis on wrong word? Any feedback will be GREATLY appreciated!!
Cheers,
Alexandra-
Great job! Your narration is really good. Your Met Art Tour reading sounds like it could come from a museum commercial! The Cosmic Kids demo sounded good, I would just say that when you say “Yoga, Stories, and Fun!”, you might want to shorten your pauses between each word. As for the Breast Cancer segment, I’d say to slow down a smidgen when it comes to the long, scientific words, so people are sure to understand what the word is. Overall, great work! Hope this helps!
-
-
-
Hey everyone! I’m practicing my conversational delivery, and I was wondering if you guys would listen and see what I could improve. Thanks!
Butterball
Butterball brings you the joys of turkey day.
Friends and family drop in to bask in the warmth
of the season. Celebrate this summer with Butterball
turkey on the grill. Tender, juicy, surprisingly simple.
HAPPY THANKSGRILLING from Butterball.Popeye’s
Got a cravin’ for Cajun?
Come along for some New Orleans style fried chicken,
cajun battered fries, and buttermilk biscuits.
Love that chicken at Popeye’s.-
So you’re working on sounding conversational?! Ergh.. the hardest part in my opinion! lol. One think I noticed in your reads (which I have issues with too) is ending all your sentences on the same note. Try going up on grill, for example. Also, stretch out “joys of turkey day” or emphasize joys.. The hard part of sounding natural is when they also tell you you have to sound happier at the same time! lol But I do find it helps to actually be smiling when I’m doing some of these scripts.
Pretty much the same comments on the second read. Try to sound a little more excited about what you’re selling!
But you’ve got a good voice so keep at it! -
-
-
Feedback on this Advil script?
Muscle aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.-
Hi, Steve! I think overall it’s a nice read. The recording quality sounds good and you sound natural and friendly. In terms of constructive criticism, I think the middle section (“relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise…”) felt a little bit rushed and not quite clear. Otherwise, good job!
-
-
-
Hi all, I’m getting ready for my first commercial coaching session and am doing a little pre-work. Please take a listen and let me know your thoughts. Thanks! Chris
Quality Inn
When he checked in, he was Mr. Simmons. When he checked out, he was just plain Bob. Quality Inn. We’ll see you there.Trendi.com
Trendi.com. It’s the #1 shopping site for top name brands at up to 75% off. Great style, great value and everything ships free. Trendi.com. Everything you love, for less.NO!
Kids hate the word no. As in no you can’t stay up late, no you can’t have more ice cream and no, you may not paint the cat. No, no, NO! Well isn’t it time for a yes? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!-
Hi Chris,
I have the same thought for all of them. You have great tone, your timing is good, but it feels like there is a little something missing. Perhaps some energy/excitement, especially Six Flags – I think since its a theme park, it should have high energy/excitement levels.
-
-
Hi Christophe,
Good voice in general. Technical aspects of the recording are fine.
You need to work on varying it a bit.
Quality Inn: Make the first sentence a tad more formal, but the whole sentence. The second sentence should be informal, and I mean the whole sentence, not just “Bob”. Say “We’ll see you there” like you are saying so long to somebody, maybe with a very very slight country accent.
No: Your voice was the same throughout. On the no part, I might talk like a kid, like a bit frustrated (not a faux child voice). Take your time a bit more. And then, like a lightbulb goes off, come up with the yes – the Great Adventure. Best thing since sliced bread.
Trendi – ah, this is your wheelhouse read. Only thing I would change is to stress the #1.
Wish you success!
-
-
I’ll accept any sort of feedback, but I’m primarily interested in improving the recording quality. Any suggestions would be much appreciated! Thanks!
SBI
At SBI, our mission is to be the go-to resource for turn key solutions in educational spaces. Whether for classrooms, laboratories, libraries, or administrative offices, we offer the highest quality furniture, equipment, and technology to meet every space, plan, and budget. -
-
Hello everyone! I would greatly appreciate any feedback on any of my narration recordings below. Thank you so much in advance! 🙂
-
Hi Salma,
I only listened to the pre-boarding announcement. You sound like you are acting, but in this case, you should be very very casual. Imagine being in an airline terminal. Or maybe do a practice recording there.
Wish you success -
-
-
Hi Salma,
I agree with Shmuel, you could try relaxing just a bit with it but your tone and tempo were great. On Hershey, try to give it a little more excitement and energy and speed it up just a bit. It is a tour, so you want to make sure you are heard, but you want to engage as well.
-
-
-
Here are some rehearsals for my narration demo. No effects or corrections were done.
CENTRAL WASHINGTON AGRICULTURAL MUSEUM
Welcome to the Central Washington Agricultural Museum. The Farm EquipmenT Yard has multitudes of horse drawn implements, early mechanical farm machinery, antique tractors, and more. If there is a particular antique farming device thaT you are hoping to see, there is a good chance thaT we have iT!ARTICULATIONS
An articulation, or joint, is a point of contact between bones. Although most joints in the body allow considerable movement, some allow only limited movement or none at all. The sutures of the skull, for example, are adjacent bones that are bound together into a strong and rigid protective plate.POLAR BEARS
Winter in the arctic. This is a no-man’s land. Literally. For half the year, this vast area is locked in ice, and devoid of sunlight. Even plants can’t make it. The temperatures plummeting to minus 40 for weeks on end. This really is the toughest place to make a living.THE STOCK MARKET
The term “stock market” refers to one of the major indexes such as the Dow Jones Industrial Average or the Standard & Poor’s 500 – the S&P.
Because it’s hard to track every single company, the Dow and S&P indexes include only selected stocks, whose performance is viewed as representative of the entire market.
Note: Recorded with “indices” and not “indexes”. My coach is in a Commonwealth country.-
Hi Schmuel,
Central Washington was excellent, very warm and inviting. I thought the tempo was good – same with Articulations. On Polar Bears, maybe a bit more dramatic. I was picturing this cold desolate place and thought it should be a bit more foreboding of a read. The Stock Market was great with one technical point – on the “s” in “single”, maybe hit that a little softer. I liked the stress of “single” but the “sssingle” stood out (if that makes sense!).
Great reads!
-
-
Hi Shmuel,
I really liked the enthusiasm and energy in the Central Washington read. As you were able to change tonalities throughout it in a natural manner. For the Polar Bears read, your voice has a very soothing and calming quality to it. I might agree with Haley, as she makes a great point. I just wouldn’t push it if that makes sense. As I personally struggle with maintaining a good balance between having both professional and natural sounding reads without “over-selling”. If that makes sense. But, that’s just my experience. I didn’t hear that at all here. Good job!
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
