[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 7 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 7 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 7 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 7 months ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[salmaperez001]

Hello, hope everyone had wonderful holidays! I have attached my Commercial recordings below! I would greatly appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you!

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[Andres]

Just looking for any feedback that you might think is helpful, trying to practice for my Narration Demo so I appreciate whatever advice you may have.

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[Erik B]

Hi Andres,

I listened to your read, and I thought it was good. The tone and pacing of the read are solid. Also you differentiate between sentences nicely. The only suggestion I have is slowing down, “hello and welcome”. Also may I suggest next time you post on the forum, include the copy of the read. It allows listeners to better analyze your performance, and provide more helpful feedback.

[edward]

HP LASERJET PRO P1102W WIRELESS SETUP
HP LaserJet Pro P1102w Wireless Setup consists of Auto Wireless Connect generation that allows connecting the printer to the wi-fi network routinely without having to attach any cables or input wireless network settings which include wireless password or identity. All new HP printers may have this functionality for the duration of the software program set up process.

[Mark.OD]

I would love to get some feedback on these pieces. Just started the narration track and am working to find that authentic voice while considering varying audiences.
(Also, it’s my first upload and I hope I did this correctly. Any help is appreciated)
Thanks.

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[LSlagle519]

Here are a few more reads I worked on last week. The scripts are from the Harvey Home Theatre and Motel 6 scripts in the library.

Harvey Home Theatre
He has a 160 IQ, performs cardiac surgery for a living. And now, he can even operate his home entertainment system. Introducing Harvey Home Theater. It’s so sophisticated, it’s simple. Dimensions of sight and sound unheard of, until now. All at your fingertips. Now, if he could only operate the microwave. Home Theater from Harvey, not your ordinary electronics store. Call for the Harvey near you.

Motel 6 Do Over
I’ve just been hearing about this trendy new hairstyle called a man bun. I mean what’s next the hee hive? well Motel 6 recently got a new updo of sorts too with renovations nationwide and even with our fresh modern look you’ll still find rooms at the lowest price of any national chain so you can save up enough money to get yourself a haircut or maybe a hat.
We’ll leave the light on for you, at Motel6.com

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[Mark.OD]

I thought the first one was excellent in it’s authenticity. The pace was quite effective as well. I thought the second was not quite as authentic, it was a little “acty”, if I may coin that word. Your voice is perfect for both pieces and the sound quality rocks.

[Logan DFD]

So, I’m REALLY struggling to hammer out my “natural” delivery, and I’ve been running around in circles. Any help or feedback would be VERY appreciated. Thanks!

Atlanta Bread Company

When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think ‘bread’.
Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees.
Think of our Cafe with savory sandwiches, daily soups and crisp salads.
And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting!
Atlanta Bread Company – more than just bread.

Special K Red Berries

Putting strawberries in cereal wasn’t our idea.
Putting them in the box was.
With slices of real strawberries and crunchy sweet flakes, looking good never tasted so good.
Special K Red Berries.

A1 Steak Sauce

With steak, you want to make every bite count.
That’s why we use A-1 Steak Sauce.
A-1 brings out every single bite of steak, or even hamburger.
Mmmmm, delicious.
For me, there’s only one steak sauce, A-1.
Because A-1 has all the taste that makes every bite count.

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[Sylvanie]

Hi Logan, maybe try to uplift the read a little. I agree on adding a smile or laugh, will make a difference. Good Luck!

[Mark.OD]

All three are filled with taste sensory images. Use those. Bring up those flavors in your mind. Maybe a close friend who likes food could be your intended audience. Hope this helps.

[carynbell]

Hi there!

Try laughing before the reads and smile throughout and see if that helps.

[carynbell]

Hi Everybody!

I’m now training on commercial reads.

Feedback is always appreciated!!!

Thanks!

FRANKLIN DISABILITY

YOU GROW UP LOOKING TO YOUR PARENTS AS YOUR PROVIDERS AND PROTECTORS. THEN ONE DAY, SOMETIMES QUITE SUDDENLY, THE SHOE’S ON THE OTHER FOOT. AS YOU YOURSELF GROW OLDER, HOW CAN YOU BE ASSURED THAT YOU WON’T BE FORCED TO DEPEND ON YOUR OWN CHILDREN FOR YOUR CARE AND SECURITY? IT’S SIMPLE. WE’RE THE FRANKLIN DISABILITY INSURANCE COMPANY. WE’RE CONTINUALLY LOOKING TOWARD THE FUTURE, SO YOU’LL BE PREPARED WHEN IT GETS HERE. FOR MORE INFORMATION, CONTACT YOUR BROKER. HERE’S TO A LONG LIFE.

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[carynbell]

OPEN TO FEEDBACK GUYS! THANKS!

AT ALMOND BREEZE, WE ONLY USE CALIFORNIA GROWN BLUE DIAMOND ALMONDS IN OUR ALMOND MILK. AND WE’RE PROUD OF THAT. BUT THE WHOLE CARING AND NURTURING PART? THAT IDEA WE BORROWED FROM NATURE. BLUE DIAMOND ALMOND BREEZE, THE BEST ALMONDS MAKE THE BEST ALMOND MILK.

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[Mark.OD]

Very nice job. The pacing is excellent and the delivery quite natural. The only criticism is with the word disability, which was a little awkward. I only mention this because its the title of the company. Other than that, great job.

[SteveVO]

Hi, everyone! I would love to get some feedback on this documentary-type read about beavers. Thanks!

Script: The b****r builds its lodge out of intertangled twigs and sticks; as freezing weather nears, they plaster their lodge with mud, making a concrete layer that no predator can break through. During the early nineteenth century, the b****r pelt was the single most valuable commodity; the pelt being used for robes, coats, clothing trims, and top hats.

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[sbell]

YOU’RE SO GOOD!!! Teach me your pacing ways!!! Your read was super clear and easy to understand. Even if you were explaining something complicated, your pace and diction were so clear that I had time to think about what you were saying as you read. I think you would also do well as an audiobook narrator.

[SteveVO]

That’s very kind of you. Thanks 🙂 For this particular script, I pictured myself inside the b****r’s lodge and pictured myself explaining it to someone, while we were watching the b****r do things. I looked for a bit of a hushed tone (so the b****r couldn’t hear me :-), and I find that I purposely slow my pace down for others, to help them absorb everything.

[sbell]

Hi everyone,

Would like feedback on my read. Working on my pacing so as not to read too fast.

Thanks in advance for your help

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[Shmuel]

I like the energy in this one.

[Mark.OD]

I thought you handle a challenging script adeptly. I agree with Steve that you could slow down a little bit. The one thing I wonder, however, is how you feel about Newton’s accomplishments. I think a little bit more “you” could help. Nice job.

[SteveVO]

I really like this read. I think your pacing was very good, and I would say just a smidge slower would make it even better. Otherwise, I really enjoyed it. It sounded exciting and engaging.

[sbell]

Thanks so much Steve!

[Author]

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