Here are two pieces of homework, any feedback would be appreciated.
Ace Brand: Ace Brand Lawn and Garden Supplies are made with a satisfaction guarantee. Because all the talk in the world doesn’t matter if you can’t back it up. Ace Brand.
Special K Red Berries: Putting strawberries in cereal wasn’t our idea. Putting them in the box was. With slices of real strawberries and crunchy sweet flakes, looking good never tasted so good. Special K Red Berries.
Hi Kendall! I liked how in both of your reads, you do a really good job of varying pitch in each sentence so they kept my attention throughout. My main tip would be to slow down and focus on enunciating each and every word. For example, to my ear, the words “lawn and garden supplies” blended together. Same with the opening line for special k “putting strawberries.” Overall, great energy in both!
Hey Yall!
Posting some HWs for narration. Would really appreciate any kind of feedback or comments yall have!
Thanks,
Max
Business Software
Your online business is growing. That’s a good thing. But as orders increase, so do the bottlenecks in business processes. To keep growing, you need to do a better job at managing inventory, processing & fulfilling orders and keeping your customers happy – all while expanding into new channels.
Financial Engines
Financial Engines provides investors with honest, personalized advice and portfolio management. Available online, on paper, and by phone, our advice is accessible to all and unique to each investor’s goals and financial circumstances. We serve millions of retirement plan participants through leading employers and financial institutions. Using proprietary advice technology, proven financial methodology, and the expertise of our investment team, we offer objective advice you can trust.
Hi Max! These are sooo good and clean! I love your voice. On “Business Software,” my suggestion would be to read the second half a bit warmer. The read felt cold here.
Thanks so much for your kinds words and feedback! After re-listening again I totally hear what you’re talking about needing more warmth. I’ll keep that in mind moving forward.
Hi Everyone,
These are my two practice scripts. Would love any feedback on them. Thank you in advance. >ER
In This House
In this house
There is no mess
No gossiping, nothing negative, and definitely no stress
Never mind what happened in the past
Putting focus there only makes it last
In this house we ONLY dream
It’s why we make the perfect team
Only speak of all the good to come
Move to the beat of Our own drums
In this house it’s just like me
We practice the dreams we desire to be
Now in this house the things you see
Are all the dreams that were in ME.
Cosmos
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.
Requesting feedback if you have the time. Thank you.
HERE ARE SOME QUICK AND EASY STEPS TO PROVIDE GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE AT WORK:
Step 1 : Start with a smile: Smiling immediately puts the customer at ease and signals that you are ready and able to help.
Step 2: Treat customers with empathy & understanding: Customers want to know that you understand their situation and their special circumstances.
Step 3: Respond promptly & accurately: Let customers know when they can expect results. Always do the job right the first time.
Step 4: Be reliable: Show your customers that you can deliver their requested goods or services on time.
Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video
This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more important, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place. For cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snow boarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.
Sounds really good. The added crowd effect works but perhaps should be silenced after you mention in the locker there is nothing but silence. Lastly, possibly punch Nike a bit more at the end after the final question. Overall very nice.
A name of Professional Realtors. Progency is a real estate firm that provides expert guidance at finding a home or investment property in Rawalpindi and Islamabad – Pakistan. It guides you through the process to help you achieve your dreams!
Progency is a well-reputed real estate company. We have been working for many years to provide our clients with the best of the services. Our services include Consultancy, Real Estate Brokerage, Project Management, Project Marketing and Construction. We develop a concrete strategy to help you achieve your dream destination. Various projects are being worked upon including Gold Avenue, Blue World City and Builders Mall.
As per findings of the World Bank, real estate constitutes about 60% to 70% of the country’s total economic size. The findings make it evident that real estate plays a crucial role in shaping and directing the economy of a state. Overall, real estate is a growing sector in Pakistan even though a bit of slowdown has been observed since 2017 due to political instability and uncertain financial situation. However, hopes are high for the coming times. In ease of doing business reports, Pakistan ranked 108 in 2020 which was 136 in the previous year. It shows the signs of improvement as well as increased chances of foreign direct investment (FDI). Whether national or international, investors tend to invest in the real estate sector to a great extent because of its huge turnover. In Pakistan, there are many excellent real estate companies working to facilitate the investors. Progency is a real estate company working hard to provide services related to real estate consultancy, brokerage, project management and marketing, and construction.
Realty Square is an international level real estate company which provides services related to architecture, building and development. If you are thinking of investing in the real estate sector you can always contact us for initial consultancy services as well as brokerage, construction, marketing services in the later phases of development.
On Cineplex. Good read, you could separate “to it’s” at 0:05 as they bleed together. At 0:18 you could remove much of the pause before “promise career growth”. Good read though.
Good read. Washington at 0:23 sounded a bit different from when you used it at the end. Only other minor critique would be there is a possible change in pitch between some sentences. Almost where you may have taken a breath, cut it out in editing, but the up pitch from a fresh breathe was still there. Again, hardly noticeable.
Hi this is Wes! I’ve been out of the loop for a while. This is my first attempt at VO narration scripts.
This is 1 of 3 homework scripts. I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks!