Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #74573
    ekairush04
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,
    These are my two practice scripts. Would love any feedback on them. Thank you in advance. >ER

    In This House
    In this house
    There is no mess
    No gossiping, nothing negative, and definitely no stress
    Never mind what happened in the past
    Putting focus there only makes it last
    In this house we ONLY dream
    It’s why we make the perfect team
    Only speak of all the good to come
    Move to the beat of Our own drums
    In this house it’s just like me
    We practice the dreams we desire to be
    Now in this house the things you see
    Are all the dreams that were in ME.

    Cosmos

    Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.

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  • #74568
    RBenesVO
    Participant

    Requesting feedback if you have the time. Thank you.

    HERE ARE SOME QUICK AND EASY STEPS TO PROVIDE GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE AT WORK:

    Step 1 : Start with a smile: Smiling immediately puts the customer at ease and signals that you are ready and able to help.
    Step 2: Treat customers with empathy & understanding: Customers want to know that you understand their situation and their special circumstances.
    Step 3: Respond promptly & accurately: Let customers know when they can expect results. Always do the job right the first time.
    Step 4: Be reliable: Show your customers that you can deliver their requested goods or services on time.

    Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video
    This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more important, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place. For cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snow boarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.

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  • #74566
    Nik
    Participant

    Hi..I would appreciate any feedback on this Nike ad.
    Thank you in advance!

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    • #74571
      RBenesVO
      Participant

      Sounds really good. The added crowd effect works but perhaps should be silenced after you mention in the locker there is nothing but silence. Lastly, possibly punch Nike a bit more at the end after the final question. Overall very nice.

      • #74676
        Nik
        Participant

        Thank you for that feedback:)

  • #74557
    Progency
    Participant

    A name of Professional Realtors. Progency is a real estate firm that provides expert guidance at finding a home or investment property in Rawalpindi and Islamabad – Pakistan. It guides you through the process to help you achieve your dreams!

    Progency is a well-reputed real estate company. We have been working for many years to provide our clients with the best of the services. Our services include Consultancy, Real Estate Brokerage, Project Management, Project Marketing and Construction. We develop a concrete strategy to help you achieve your dream destination. Various projects are being worked upon including Gold Avenue, Blue World City and Builders Mall.

    As per findings of the World Bank, real estate constitutes about 60% to 70% of the country’s total economic size. The findings make it evident that real estate plays a crucial role in shaping and directing the economy of a state. Overall, real estate is a growing sector in Pakistan even though a bit of slowdown has been observed since 2017 due to political instability and uncertain financial situation. However, hopes are high for the coming times. In ease of doing business reports, Pakistan ranked 108 in 2020 which was 136 in the previous year. It shows the signs of improvement as well as increased chances of foreign direct investment (FDI). Whether national or international, investors tend to invest in the real estate sector to a great extent because of its huge turnover. In Pakistan, there are many excellent real estate companies working to facilitate the investors. Progency is a real estate company working hard to provide services related to real estate consultancy, brokerage, project management and marketing, and construction.

    Realty Square is an international level real estate company which provides services related to architecture, building and development. If you are thinking of investing in the real estate sector you can always contact us for initial consultancy services as well as brokerage, construction, marketing services in the later phases of development.

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  • #74554
    mike_levelton
    Participant

    Hey everyone,

    Getting started on working on my narration demo course.

    Was hoping I could get some feedback on some test scripts I have.

    Thanks!

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    • #74572
      RBenesVO
      Participant

      On Cineplex. Good read, you could separate “to it’s” at 0:05 as they bleed together. At 0:18 you could remove much of the pause before “promise career growth”. Good read though.

  • #74548
    Wes@1972
    Participant

    And 3rd a scripture narration. One of my issues has been tempo and pacing, so I’m working hard to correct that!

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  • #74546
    Wes@1972
    Participant

    This is my second VO post and is a biographical narration.

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    • #74576
      RBenesVO
      Participant

      Good read. Washington at 0:23 sounded a bit different from when you used it at the end. Only other minor critique would be there is a possible change in pitch between some sentences. Almost where you may have taken a breath, cut it out in editing, but the up pitch from a fresh breathe was still there. Again, hardly noticeable.

      • #74662
        Wes@1972
        Participant

        Thank you for the constructive feedback! One area I need to work on is my editing and breathing, so definitely very helpful.

  • #74544
    Wes@1972
    Participant

    Hi this is Wes! I’ve been out of the loop for a while. This is my first attempt at VO narration scripts.
    This is 1 of 3 homework scripts. I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks!

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    • #74627
      ilene.echavarria
      Participant

      Hi Wes! Your voice is definitely suited for narration. This was a nice read, but I would slow down the pace a bit. Make it a bit more conversational.

      • #74661
        Wes@1972
        Participant

        Hi Ilene, thank you so much for your feedback! It’s very useful as I prepare for my upcoming narration demo.

  • #74538
    airbear57
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    Would love some feedback on these practice scripts!

    Downy Light: Want your clothes to smell freshly washed all day without heavy perfumes? Now they can with Downy light in wash freshness boosters. Just pour a cap full of beads into your washing machine before each load to give your laundry a light scent that lasts longer than detergent alone. With no heavy perfumes or dyes. Finally a light scent that lasts all day. New Downy Light available in 4 naturally inspired scents.

    Nespresso Vertuo: Nespresso Vertuo. Redefining coffee with one touch precision brewing technology. A smooth crema for an exceptional coffee every day. Nespresso Vertuo. what coffee is meant to be.

    Thanks so much!

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    • #74541
      michaelflemingvoice
      Participant

      First things first. I know I will be hearing your voice in commercials in the future. You’ve got the raw goods.

      In Nespresso, just about every sentence was a downward side. It made you sound bored. Contrast that with the Downy that had so much more variety and musicality in your delivery, which made you sound fun and friendly. I’d try it again reading the Nespresso with Downy inflections.

      With the Downy, I’d really think about where the pauses are and why. Maybe fewer pauses would help it flow and solidify your friendliness. Also, try ending it with a smile and shrug.

      Your voice is beautiful. Keep up the hard work!

      • #74553
        airbear57
        Participant

        Thank you so much for your feedback! I will definitely keep these things in mind when I read through these scripts again 🙂

  • #74533
    Sylvanie
    Participant

    Hello Everyone, Looking for feedback on my practice scripts below. As always, very much appreciated.

    BOYS & GIRLS CLUB

    Put this card in the hands of a child and there’ll be no room for a gun. A needle. Or a knife. It’s only a piece of paper, but that little membership card has helped keep millions of kids off drugs, out of gangs and in school. To learn how you can help the Boys & Girls Clubs, call 1-800-854-Club. Boys & Girls Clubs of America. The POSITIVE Place For Kids.

    BURT’S BEES

    You asked me to define myself? What should I say? I’m complicated. I’m complex. I’m a boss. And beautiful. I’m all these things and a million things more. But one thing I’m not? I’m not synthetic. So why would I use beauty products that are? Introducing new Burt’s Bees Beauty. A full line of natural cosmetics that make you feel your beautiful best. Because of how they’re made, not in spite of it. Burt’s Bees.

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    • #74536
      chloeblackstone
      Participant

      Hi everyone! I love hearing what you all are working on, I’m gonna sit down and leave some more feedback this afternoon.

      In the meantime I would love any feedback on this In-Show Narration sample I’m considering for my narration demo. I know my vocals aren’t in great shape, but I wonder if my voice suits this copy, and what I could do to improve this read. Thanks in advanced!

      – Chloe

      “Cool waters. Hot sun. And fresh mountain breezes whispering on the wind. Think lake front living is only for the rich? Think again! Today we’re on the hunt for a bargain to renovate in lake country Wisconsin. This area is all about lake living, with more than 140 lakes in the county, lake country is a booming year round destination for people who love to boat, fish and do just about anything under the sun. Homes in this lake community can sell for more than a million dollars. But our bargain hunters are looking to buy a lakefront home for 450 thousand dollars.”

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