[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 7 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 7 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 7 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 7 months ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[Kaylee Kurkierewicz]

Hi y’all! Looking for creative feedback (no technical please, just recording on my phone) on two potential copies for my commercial demo. I’d love feedback on pacing/tone variations and I’m working on making sure everything flows together and doesn’t sound choppy or too pause-y when I read. Thank you so much!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Terra Ashe]

Hi!
Trivago- Nice read, very fun and casual
“Alright Trivago” kinda sounded like a lead in, but I assume it’s supposed to be part of the commercial, in which case I would use lead in so you’re on from the beginning.
“and trivago my friends love to party” can be smoothed out a bit.
I think because there is so much of oooh what about this and oooh what about that in this commerical copy it would be helpful to do a few different lead ins for different parts of the script (and then just edit out the lead ins) to help with variation from the ocean views to massage to partying since they are all very different vacation options.
One other thing which is an easy fix, at one point you say “and Trivago” then goes into the parting bit but on “and” I’m not hearing the d on it, so it sounds like “in Trivago”

Indeed- Also nice read, really nice tone.
I think you can slow down those first 3 words they go by really fast. I’d just add a few extra vowels to the first word to help elongate it. I would take a slight step off how much you’re emphasizing the different words in the your mom has made it her job to find you a job bit. It’s definitely makes sense to put some emphasis, its a funny part of the script the word job is said like 3 times, but you can reel it back just a little. Lastly, I would do more of a tone shift from the first beat of the script(no job, move back home, moms in your business) to the second beat of Indeed has a solution, maybe brighter, happier, more of a smile. You state the problem, now here is the solution.

Great job! Take whatever was feedback helpful and leave the rest!

[debbyc]

Hi all. This is a narration recording. All feedback is appreciated! Thanks in advance!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Treva Dean]

I agree about maybe adding a smile to your read, to pep it up a little. I also think it would be good to focus on which words *need* to be emphasized. At one point you were saying you’d tell the listener to pause so they could walk to an area, and the word “walk” was emphasized. My coach has been on me about this, so that’s probably why it stood out, lol.

[Terra Ashe]

I think this was really nice! You had a lovely tone, and a really nice pace. My only thoughts were that I would slow down “Welcome to Gordan College” just a little, especially the first word but just a bit. And I would add a little more smile to your tone, just make it a little brighter. But it was really nice read I trusted you as my guide.

[Adam Cannon]

I’m looking for feedback on how my pacing sounds

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[debbyc]

I agree with Earthbul. I would like to hear you speed up the pace a bit.

[Earthbul]

Is this a piece from a documentary script ? If so I feel the pace could be a bit quicker and slightly less maudlin. I’d have to hear a little more to get a better idea.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by Earthbul.

[Mike Koziol]

Getting some practice in on some educational material. Would appreciate any and all feedback.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Treva Dean]

Your pacing was good! There were a couple moments where there were odd pauses, though. You paused after “the role of accounting in business” and “the economic performance”, and the pauses interrupted the flow of your words. Maybe focus on keeping the pauses as natural as possible.

[debbyc]

Hi there. Who is your audience? Practice speaking in a conversational way in educating your audience.

[m2yacademy]

Environmental Management

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[monibr16]

Hey everyone. FInishing my list for my demo. Focusing on audience, glottal stops, and clarity. All notes welcome!

Coffee mate
(Yawn) There it is, my best friend in the morning. All I need is the rich and delicious taste of coffee mate to help me be me, every morning. Coffee mate. Coffee’s perfect mate.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[debbyc]

Nice read! the only feedback I have is to possibly put more emphasis on “rich and delicious taste”

[Earthbul]

No activity on this forum all week. Ya’ll producing or what ?

[Earthbul]

Any and all feedback appreciated.
Btw, is the music too overpowering ?

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Adam Cannon]

Great pacing and diction, I would say you could go a level down on the music

[Earthbul]

Thanks for the feedback Adam. I always question music volume on my spots. Listened to your Haunted spot. Would love to hear one of your more conversational reads.

[Earthbul]

Practice read. Any and all critiques and comments welcomed and appreciated.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Honeyvoice]

A struggle But it was fun

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Earthbul]

Once again recorded in the car lol any and all comments or critiques are welcomed and appreciated.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by Earthbul.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Author]

Replies