Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #72016
    superfixappliances
    Participant

    Hi Everyone!
    Here I am gonna discuss about Refrigerator services provider.
    There are a variety of refrigerator repair businesses that can handle any problem you may have. Refrigerator repair provides professional service at a reasonable price and handles their customers with the utmost respect. Superfix Appliances offers a variety of service contracts to suit your customers’ requirements. The best part about this company is that you can quickly get all of your appliance repair needs met. Contact us to get best Refrigerator Technician Dubai.

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  • #72011
    Shaun Cruz
    Participant

    Hello Friends!

    Just uploading a couple more commercial reads… I appreciate all the feedback.

    Thanks!

    At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!

    Hey… if life were perfect, magazines would never smell like perfume, dogs would walk themselves, and algebra would really come in handy. Well,look on the bright side, at least there’s AMSTEL LIGHT. It has only 95 calories,but you still get real imported taste. You don’t give up a thing. Who says nothing’s perfect?…Amstel Light.

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    • #72055
      bevy
      Participant

      Hi Shaun,

      I really enjoyed the Amstel Light read, you presented as a light-hearted and neighborly which fits well with the tone of the script.

      I also enjoyed the Freshii read but agree that slowing down just a little bit, specifically when listing ingredients would make it better. Overall great recordings!

      • #72139
        Shaun Cruz
        Participant

        Hello Bevy,

        Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it. definitely will be slowing down. Thank you for listening!

    • #72034
      Logan DFD
      Participant

      Sounds good! You have a good calming, relaxing voice.

      On the Freshii reading, you might want to slow down a bit and pronounce each word clearly, ESPECIALLY the word Freshii (the money word). Also, be sure to have good variation in your pitch in the middle of sentences. And when you pause, let your words naturally end, but don’t cut them off too soon. Do that, and your reading will be just that much better! Good work!

      Your Amstel Light reading was really good! Sounds like it came from an official commercial. Creative variation in pitch, great accent, not too fast, but not slow either. Great job! Keep it up!

      • #72138
        Shaun Cruz
        Participant

        Hey Logan,

        Thank you for the great feedback! I really appreciate it.

    • #72020
      kicking
      Participant

      I really like your voice – friendly, trustworthy, cool.
      Careful of the p pops (plosives) on the “perfect” (say that 10 times in a row, lol).

      • #72027
        Shaun Cruz
        Participant

        I Will Keep the P notes in mind, I’ll try that exercise lol. Thanks so much for the feedback, I appreciate it!

  • #72006
    TimberTykes
    Participant

    Good Evening!

    I have a couple of recordings here for homework- two commercial readings.

    My main focus was making sure the reading was akin to a short story- I have to make sure my readings had a beginning, middle, and end. Any feedback is much appreciated, and thank you for your time!

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by TimberTykes.
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    • #72077
      jwreickel
      Participant

      Good morning Timber Tykes,

      I tried to provide some feedback for you below on each of your reads, well done!

      Sincerely,

      Jimmy

      Saying No – lots of personality and definitely sounds like a conversation! I like the chuckle and do feel like this has a distinct beginning/middle/end. really nice!

      Get More – this definitely sounds like a real commercial so that’s great! There is a good amount of tonal shift throughout, especially at the end, but in the beginning/middle sections you may want to change one of the exclamatory sentences to not end on a high inflection (e.g. depending on how much smartphone data YOU USE! and get a new phone ON US!)

  • #72000
    salmaperez001
    Participant

    Hello everyone! I would greatly appreciate any feedback on any of my narration recordings below as I have tried to apply the feedback I received in my last post. Thank you so much in advance!

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    • #72073
      jwreickel
      Participant

      Good morning salmaperez!

      I’ve copied some feedback below for each of your scripts, hope this helps!

      Jimmy

      —————–

      Aetna/US Healthcare – Based on a quick Google search I think this may be pronounced as ‘et – na’ vs. ‘a – et – na’ but I could be wrong about that. I think your pace and annunciation are very consistent and convey a warm feeling but it does come off as if you’re reading a script. You may want to change your tone/inflection a few places to try and make it sound more like a conversation

      Relaxation – I think your voiceprint fits really well with this one! Good pacing, good pauses, I thought this was very good.

      Apollo 16 – To me this one definitely sounds like it’s got more of your personality but I would suggest even more. To try and relay your point of view (amazement, awe, etc.) about this incredible event in history I think would be helpful to grabbing listener attention

      Hershey Tour – I think this also offers more of your personality but similar to the healthcare one seems to have very consistent tone that makes it sound like you’re reading a script. For example your first three sentences all end with an ‘up’ inflection (welcome to Hershey! the great american Chocolate Town! where american families come together for the Sweet Life!)

  • #71991
    Sheila Harris
    Participant

    Hi all! See below for recent script submission…

    GORDON COLLEGE:

    Welcome to Gordon College! This tour begins just outside the tunnel that goes under College Drive near the flagpole. We will tour East campus first, followed by West Campus, and end the tour back here at the tunnel. Periodically, I will ask you to pause the recording so that you can walk to the next point or take a few minutes to independently tour the area. I will always use the word “pause” when you need to pause the recording. And I will always use the word “stop” when you need to stop walking while I continue speaking. This tour is intended to be listened to while walking around campus and does not include tours of any of the buildings. If you are taking this tour on a day when the buildings are open, please feel free to pause the recording and enter the buildings along the way. As you resume listening to the tour, remember to return to the location where you were last when you pushed pause on the recording.

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    • #72021
      kicking
      Participant

      Hey – love the voice. Smooth, warm and a pleasure to listen to. If I had a criticism, I’d say the read was too upbeat – if that makes sense.

  • #71983
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hi everyone! Here is a script for feedback. I’m working towards recording my narration demo. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

    Mary

    Mini Supermarket
    This may look like the front of a vending machine. In fact, to make a purchase, all you do is dial a code and a robot sales clerk does the rest.
    Instead of just sodas or crackers, this machine offers more than five hundred items – like p***y hose, shampoos, lotions, pacifiers, tooth paste, batteries – even dog food.

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    • #72022
      kicking
      Participant

      Great voice! Good read. I would say the intonation on that last “dog food” might sound better going up rather than down.

      • #72039
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback! There were so many items in the list I had a hard time figuring out different intonations for all of them. Thanks!

        Mary

  • #71975
    1stassi
    Participant

    Hi everyone.
    This is my first homework assignment to record a commercial and upload it on the forum. I would love to get some feedback from some of my fellow actors/ actresses. Thanks in advance.

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    • #71986
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi 1stassi! First of all, welcome! I liked your energy for this one. It sounded upbeat and appropriate for the script. I did hear some echoing in the background, but my guess is if it’s your first time you may not be fully set up yet for soundproofing. Keep it up!

      Mary

  • #71959
    Dbryson69
    Participant

    Daniella New to the VO feedback forum I uploaded 2 versions of the same copy please feel free to give me all the feedback you can

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  • #71949
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    Woodies
    I hate Woodies! I’m the only dog on the block who doesn’t get any love, and I tell ya, I’m fed up! It’s just Woodies, Woodies, Woodies … every doggone day. She never has time for me anymore. When I want to romp in the park — “Sorry, darling. Mummy has to go to Woodies to buy a new dress.” When I want to play fetch the stick — “Not now, Canine Cutey, WOODIES is having a sale on shoes.” I thought it was supposed to be a dog’s world out there. If only I were a cat! (Meow SFX)

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    • #71964
      Dbryson69
      Participant

      I actually could see your sad puppy dog face listen to your read maybe a little slower is the only thing I could think of if I had to critique it but good work.

  • #71938
    DLeeVO
    Participant

    Hello All. A couple of Narration homework reads. Any feedback is appreciated!

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    • #71965
      Dbryson69
      Participant

      hey so critiquing is a part of my homework so I will just say the american airlines sounds a little robotic toward the end
      and the fish boil can slow down a bit so I have time to feel the buttery flavors I am going to be tasting when its all done and ready to eat
      otherwise good read

      • #71970
        DLeeVO
        Participant

        ok! Thanks so much!!

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