Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Good Morning!
Bit of a late upload of this weeks homework for Mr Bruder!
Three scripts this time, trying to add a bit more of a smile!NASDAQ
We all have an important role to play. Ours is to power the worlds markets. Reliably, securely, and from anywhere. Because when global economies operate smoothly, a market of humanity emerges. Not stocks or bonds or IPOs — but exchanges of concern, care and hope with the determination to re-emerge stronger and reimagine tomorrow together. Visit NASDAQ.com to see how we can rewrite tomorrow, together.SPECIAL K RED BERRIES
Putting strawberries in cereal wasn’t our idea. Putting them in the box was. With slices of real strawberries and crunchy sweet flakes, looking good never tasted so good. Special K Red Berries.Campbell’s Chunky Chili
Introducing Campbell’s Chunky Chili with Beans – four delicious, hearty varieties loaded with succulent, seasoned meat. It’s the perfect pre-game warm-up. -
Hi all! I’m looking for any and all feedback to this script. Let me know what you think! Thanks,
Mary
The AWS Welding Fundamentals Course provides a comprehensive overview of the basic principles of welding. Participants will learn the basic science and practical application of the most commonly utilized welding processes along with other essential topics, including welding terminology, weld design, welding safety, electrical theory, the weldability of metals, and welding quality control. Presented in short, easy-to-understand modules, this multimedia, online course is ideal for both students and professionals who want to expand their core competencies.
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Love your tone! Great for E-Learning, the pace and delivery everything sounded great to me. I bought some dry mouth gum it really helps with the mouth clicks. Keep up the great work!
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Hi Mary,
I can hear some mouth noises and have seen two recommendations: move back from the mic a bit and eat something like an apple that is a little t**t. My other recommendation is to bring a little warmth/inflection to it. Nothing dramatic, but a little less formal. Everyone tells me to really smile when I am doing reads.
Other than that, I think your timing is great and I love your rich tone.
Oh and you say “the weldability of materials” instead of metals. 🙂
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Hi Haley, thanks for the feedback! I will work on the mouth noises – I had water nearby but still felt that I had something in my throat. I love apples too, so I will try that! Yes, I need to work on smiling when reading as well. I hate it when I miss word, thanks for pointing that out. Thanks!
Mary
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Good Day All!!
I’m uploading more practice commercial for my homework…any feedback would be appreciated!!
American Express
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business, and American Express keeps it that way.
Atlanta Bread Company
When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think ‘bread’. Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees. Think of our our Cafe with savory sandwiches, daily soups, and crisp salads. And don’t forget…we can carter your next special event or meeting! Atlanta Bread Company – more than just bread.
Sesame Place
Sesame Place is the theme park where Sesame Street comes to life! New in 2018 is our biggest, most exciting roller coaster ever – Oscar’s Wacky Taxi! Bring the entire family to whirl on rides, splash down slides, and hug everyone’s favorite furry friends. So before little kids become big kids, bring them to meet their Sesame Street friends at Sesame Street theme park!
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Hi Everyone,
Posting my homework assignment. Please review the two recording and provide feedback as you see fit!
Invisalign
Your smile says you’re happy, confident. But, if you’re uncomfortable with your teeth, your smile could be saying just the opposite. Fortunately, there’s Invisalign. The clear alternative to braces that’s comfortable and removable for eating and brushing. Straighten your teeth little by little until a new smile emerges. Join the millions at Invisalign.com and arrange a free, no obligation consultation with an experienced Invisalign provider and let the world see the real you. Invisalign. Learn how to smile again.1-800-Collect
Still dialing zero to call people collect? Stop! It’s expensive. Instead, dial 1-800-COLLECT. Dialing 1-800-COLLECT instead of zero, saves the people you call up to 44%. Just dial 1-800-COLLECT, follow the simple instructions, and your call will go through in seconds. Calling home? Save yourself money! 1-800-COLLECT. Dial it today.SWK
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Hi SWK,
Both readings sounded very similar in expression. Your tone, timing, and pitch are all great – but I was missing something behind those things. With 1-800-Collect, perhaps a little more excitement. And with Invisalign, adding a little softness or sympathy in the beginning and then and more eagerness or persuasion at the end. I don’t know if my suggestions are spot on, but I did feel like something behind the words was missing. I hope that helps!
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Hello Everyone,
I am in the process of working toward my narration demo.
My assignment was to record three Edge studio scripts. I am looking for feedback on my ability to connect with the script and sound believable and have the proper tempo that fits the read. Thank you!
Educational Explainer Video Intro Only – Real Estate
Would you like to buy a house?
Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.Advance Technologies
Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.Cancun
Rulers of the ancient Mayan civilizations came here to see the beauty of this land … a place where the turquoise Caribbean Sea caresses the beautiful sandy beaches. They came to partake a view reserved then only for royalty. Today, more than 1,500 years later, this same spot is one of the most popular vacation destinations in the world. This is Cancun. Located at the northeast tip of the Yucatan Peninsula, Cancun is easily accessible from major gateway cities in Canada, Mexico, and the United States. Just under a 2-hour flight from Houston or Miami. Visitors will find an abundance of sports in Cancun. Jet skiing and water skiing are popular for the novice and pro alike.-
Good morning bevy,
I’ve provided some feedback about each of your scripts below, hope this helps!
Sincerely,
Jimmy
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Real estate – Really loving the tone, very friendly and conversational. But way too fast for me, it seems like you’re speeding through and hardly pausing at all between sentences.
Advance Technology – Much smoother pacing! More nitpicky feedback that you may want to really emphasize the name of the company, and when listing out the various items you’ll be going over, try to vary the tone or inflection to help make it seem less like a list and more like individual items
Cancun – Very solid, I think this one sounds good overall. I’d say it could probably benefit from the friendly tone from your real estate read (just more energy) but what you have seems fine!
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Would love any feedback…
Thanks,
Marc
Acura RDX script
Great design challenges more than just the eyes. It challenges the future. We designed the RDX to challenge not just the future of SUVs, but also the future of Acura. The future starts now. The future is the Acura RDX.Acura. Everything we ever imagined. And then some
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Marc,
This was really good. You have a confidence in your voice that really comes through in your delivery. In the beginning your cadence was a bit choppy however, it seemed in the second half you got your stride and the delivery was a lot smoother. I would suggest working on relaxing at the start to match the latter part of the recording.
SWK
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Hi! I’m working on sounding natural in my delivery. Hope you all can help me out!
Atlanta Bread Company
When you think of Atlanta Bread Company,
don’t just think ‘bread’. Think of an entire breakfast menu
– fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees.
Think of our Cafe with savory sandwiches, daily soups and crisp salads.
And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting!
Atlanta Bread Company – more than just bread.Special K Red Berries
Putting strawberries in cereal wasn’t our idea.
Putting them in the box was.
With slices of real strawberries and crunchy sweet flakes, looking good never tasted so good.
Special K Red Berries.A1 Steak Sauce
With steak, you want to make every bite count.
That’s why we use A-1 Steak Sauce.
A-1 brings out every single bite of steak, or even hamburger.
Mmmmm, delicious.
For me, there’s only one steak sauce, A-1.
Because A-1 has all the taste that makes every bite count.-
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Hi Logan,
Thanks for the uploads. These were very good and you have a very stately/ professorial tone to your voice and your annunciation is great. For the sake of sounding natural I would suggest acting out (while recording) like you are talking to some friends. Which would help reduce some of the “formalness” that I suspect your voice naturally gives.
Overall, I think these were pretty good and look forward to hearing more.
SWK
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