Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

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  • #74058
    BryanDavidson
    Participant

    Hi! May I have your feedback on this voiceover? It’s for a China tourism promo. The voice is supposed to be calm, enticing, and inspiring tourists to visit China.
    Feedback appreciated! Thanks.

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  • #74052
    1stassi
    Participant

    Hi everyone I’m practicing before my demo prep in a week. Please take a listen. Im working on not pitching down and making sure the clients name is visible. Please let me know how I did. Thanks

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    • #74552
      airbear57
      Participant

      Hi,

      I thought the 7-11 script was great! Your timing is always so impeccable! I definitely felt like you pitched up when needed and could clearly hear the client’s name. That being said, when you got to the introducing 7-11 part, it felt like the story started to get lost a bit and it sounded more commercially and less conversational (if that makes sense), but you got that conversational tone right back in the last sentence. So, my one suggestion would be trying to figure out how to make the “sell” part of the script a bit more conversational. Otherwise, great work as always!

      Wow! The tonal differences between these 2 scripts were so great and just go to show your range! My two notes for the Carnation script have to do with the line of ‘packed with protein…’: 1) enunciation because it felt like the words started to get a little muddled (specifically the word ‘nourish’) and it took me out of the script for a second and 2) focus on the whole sentence as a whole and the thought it’s trying to get across instead of the individual words themselves. Overall, I thought this was a really fantastic read and again, I could clearly hear the client’s name! Keep up the great work 🙂

  • #74048
    chloeblackstone
    Participant

    Hi everyone! I’m posting my second sample here as part of my narration coaching. Again, please ignore the bad audio quality. I’d appreciate any feedback! Thanks in advanced for listening.

    “Let’s learn about foxes! Foxes are small, furry animals that belong to the same family as dogs, wolves, and jackals. Even thought they look a bit like cats, they are not related to them. Foxes are mammals, which means they are warm blooded, breathe air, feed their babies milk, and are covered in fur. Many foxes are nocturnal, meaning they are most active at night. But some are crepuscular, which means they are most active at dawn and dusk.”

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    • #74055
      1stassi
      Participant

      I love your voice for narration.
      I liked the read as well. The word fox is repeated alot so I would change pitching and tones to make it sound different. So everyone not just one pitch. Hope that makes sense.

  • #74037
    bevy
    Participant

    Good Afternoon,

    Please find my recent reads in preparation for my VO coaching session. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you.

    DataPlex
    All of us here at DataPlex welcome you to our website in which we attempt to distill the essence of what we are all about …
    helping our customers improve their use of disparate, complex and ever-changing technologies. In a nutshell, we increase their “tech worth” by evolving, integrating or expanding their existing systems and by strategically deploying new, state-of-the-art platforms.

    THE TRAVELERS INSURANCE COMPANY
    We all share the same goals in business and in life. Security … protection … trust. What every man, woman, and child seeks from birth. What we at The Travelers have been dedicated to providing for 130 years. A difference backed by over $100 billion in assets, and the knowledge that every customer under America‘s umbrella is our most important one. The Travelers Insurance Company.

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    • #74077
      LFlynt
      Participant

      Hi Bevy – thanks for sharing this!

      I enjoyed both reads and found they both had clarity and excellent pacing. I like that you chose two pieces of copy at opposite ends of the spectrum: one “techy” and one “warmer” and *more personal*. It’s great to show range.

      Nicely done!

  • #74030
    Esandyii
    Participant

    Homework for Bruder 1.31.2022

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  • #74026
    maxspitz
    Participant

    Hey Ya’ll!

    Hope everyone’s having a good Monday so far! I’m uploading a few spots for my narration hw, this week focusing on documentary. Any feedback, comments or notes are greatly appreciated.

    Thanks!
    Max

    Yosemite:
    In the northern part of the park, large stretches of grass and sagebrush spread across the mountains and valleys. Similar to the prairies, this habitat provides an excellent home to the badger and her new family. They see light, for perhaps the first time. A strange new world for them. And they stay close to their mother at first. But growing bolder, they begin to explore on their own.

    Tales from the Hive:
    Bees have been busy for millions of years now, and they’re not about to stop anytime soon. Foragers still return from the fields with nectar, while guard bees still watch and wait. There’s treasure in this beekeeper’s hive, and all are sworn to protect it…with their lives.
    Suddenly, an intruder comes flying in: a wasp, hoping to capture a bee and feed it to its hungry grubs. The battle begins in earnest.

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    • #74078
      LFlynt
      Participant

      Hi Max – thanks for sharing your reads!

      There is a wonderful warmth, tonal quality to your voice which lends itself well to the copy you chose. I found that the energy matched the text, for each: “Yosemite” was smooth and easygoing and “Bees” was more kinetic, which fit the “busy-ness” of the story. That’s a great trait.
      I did find that “Bees” felt a little rushed – some pauses may have added some suspense to the wasp entering. :-), but I understand if you had to time yourself. That’s my practice area, too.

      Really nice job!

  • #74021
    Sylvanie
    Participant

    Hello Everyone, I would love to get your feedback on my homework practice scripts below. Much appreciated as always!

    Estee Lauder

    Beautiful skin…Young or old. Oily or dry. Every skin can look smoother and more radiant with Fruition Extra. Within an hour, this world-famous multi-hydroxy formula starts working gently to even out skin color and texture, sweep away dry patches, reduce oiliness. And reveal the beautiful skin beneath. Fruition Extra Multi-Action Complex from Estee Lauder

    Always

    Listen. Your period comes every month. But it changes every day. That’s why ALWAYS designed new MULTIPAX. Three levels of protection in one smart box. So no matter what, you’ve got the right protection. ALWAYS MULTIPAX.

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  • #74015
    naderaliamer
    Participant

    Hi everyone! These are for my latest training session and a couple of them are redos(with suggestions from feedback from my last posting)

    Thanks again in advance!

    Fish Boil

    Even people who don’t like fish, have been known to like this fish. That’s why a fish boil is a must-do experience when you visit Door County. It all starts with a blazing bonfire under a
    kettle of salted water. People circle around to warm themselves and take in the crisp smell. When the temperature is just right and the crackle of the fire is just loud enough, the boil master adds a basket of potatoes and onions to the kettle. A few crackles later, the mild whitefish steaks, fresh from Lake Michigan, are delicately lowered in. At just the right moment, kerosene is tossed into the fire, exciting the blaze and causing the water to boil over, dramatically carrying off the fish oil that has collected on top. The fish are pulled out and greeted with a generous drizzling of butter. Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.

    Texicon Family

    “Hey there new employee, or should we say, new family member. As a member of the Texicon family, we want to formally introduce you to your new home, but not too formal because that’s just not our style. Now you’ve already got your new uniforms and met with our incredible CEO, or head of the family as we like to call him. Now it’s time for me to bring you up to speed on what your days are going to be filled in with. Make sure you grab some of the complimentary cake you have in front of you, we love cake here so you’re going to have to get used to that, and see what the rest of your time at the Texicon household has in store for you!”

    Jerry Seinfeld

    The move to New York meant returning to his roots for Seinfeld, who was born April 29, 1954, in Brooklyn and raised in the Long Island town of Massapequa (which he has always joked was an old Indian name meaning “by the mall”). After graduating from Queens College, Seinfeld appeared at New York comedy spots while supporting himself with odd jobs, including selling lightbulbs over the phone and waiting tables at Brew and Burger. As his act grew more polished, he honed the wry observational style that was to become his trademark.

    Educational Explainer Video Intro Only – Real Estate

    Would you like to buy a house?
    Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
    Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
    But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
    Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.

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  • #74012
    Esandyii
    Participant

    Homework for Bruder 1.30.2022

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Esandyii.
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  • #74010
    SteveVoice2
    Participant

    Forgot one:
    Assassins Creed

    For 20 years, after the Assassins defeated the Templars in London, the city enjoyed a certain peace, until the autumn of Terror in 1888.
    London is plunged into shadow and fear, by a series of gruesome and unsolvable murders. The Brothels of White Chapel seem warm and safe by
    comparison to its streets, where prostitutes are being mutilated and being left on grotesque display for the world to ogle.
    Jacob Frye hunts the elusive killer to bring an end to the Terror of Jack the Ripper.

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