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  • #15468
    Edge Studio
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Edge Studio.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by Andrew Warner.
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  • #58728
    TimDKietzman
    Participant

    Hi everyone, my demo prep is tomorrow and I’ve been practicing. One of the scripts I’m including is a car commercial. How’s my performance? I’ve been working h*****n lists. Also, is my recording setup still great?

    Infiniti FX
    They said an SUV would never have the heart of a sports car. They said an SUV would never turn heads. Or give directions. Or play movies. They were wrong. The 315-horsepower Infiniti FX. Rethink the SUV at Infiniti.com.

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    • #59038
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Tim! Good read! Good decisive tone throughout. I think the emphasis on the appropriate words is good on the lists portion, but I think you could possibly punch up or vary the tone a little more for heads, directions and movies. Very good!

      Mary

    • #58772
      chas82
      Participant

      I agree with what RYoung shared. I would also suggest giving a little more emphasis to “never” in the first sentence because this word defines the challenge. You emphasized it well in the second sentence. I would also change the emphasis onto the verbs “give” and “play” in the third and fourth sentences and deemphasize “or “ at the start of the sentences. It was good overall; just a few tweaks. I also liked your sound quality very much. I’m sure the demo creation went well.

    • #58760
      RYoung
      Participant

      Hi Tim, I submitted a reply to your read but seem to got lost somewhere. Basically I think you started off well but the last word in the list or phrase which was play movies seem to fizzle out. Then I think you could smile more at the end because of the fact that they were wrong is the turning point in the script after listing what an SUV could never be, I would just turn up the enthusiasm a bit on the last line otherwise good work on this and good luck on your demo!

  • #58716
    reeyab
    Participant

    Hi everyone! I’m still working on soundproofing my studio, so these havent’t come out as crisp as I would like, but I am eager to hear your feedback all the same!

    Carnation Breakfast Essentials

    Kids can change minds. They can even change the world around us. Packed with protein plus 21 vitamins and minerals, we nourish them with Carnation Breakfast Essentials. Because today could change everything.

    Sandals

    Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.

    Peets Coffee

    Characters like Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there was a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s.

    Weelearn

    Most of us know there are ways we can improve… to be healthier… happier… more effective… but knowing how to improve is a different matter. Without guidance, we often simply stay the same. Welcome to Weelearn – a platform where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger in all areas of your life. Using the Weelearn video library, you can protect your body, strengthen your mind and spirit, become a more positive influence in your relationships, pursue success more confidently at work, and so much more. Our experts are taken from fields of hard science, like psychology, but also areas of broader wisdom, like spirituality. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away. Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything! Try Weelearn for yourself today. Weelearn – learning through watching.

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    • #59013
      CYeschenko
      Participant

      Nice work as a whole! One area that could be improved though in my opinion would be the pacing for Peet’s coffee. You did well interpreting the quirky copy and it sounded great in your voice! But if that was a 30 second ad you would definitely have to pick it up a little bit.

    • #58797
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Reeyab! Great reads! You have a very nice clear voice, and all of the scripts were well read and paced. I liked the attitude for Peet’s Coffee and Weelearn the best for you. Very good!

      Mary

    • #58754
      RYoung
      Participant

      First of all I would say your voice is very nice and has a good tone to it. The first read sounded really good maybe the ending could be perked up a bit. The sandals read started off well however the ending kind of tailed off with downward inflections and I believe love should be highlighted and then the last line should be highlighted as well with with a smile and or upward inflection. As far as the the last two I would only say this to help you and I have or have had some of the same issues that were pointed out to me for being disjointed or staccato. The Pete’s commercial especially seemed kind of disjointed even though you have a pleasant and natural delivery, I would just try to smooth out and tighten up the read more if that makes sense. The We learn read I thought was very well done maybe only slightly disjointed but I think you’re inflections were good, just maybe tighten up the read because of the gaps between words eere kind of long. I had posted We learn to the script library from an audition I did a while back. Keep up the great work!

    • #58750
      mrtripo9
      Participant

      I particularly love the Sandals read, sounds great.

    • #58749
      mrtripo9
      Participant

      Lovely read, production is perfect too. Thanks for sharing

    • #58732
      colleen
      Participant

      REEYAB~
      OH MY…I LOVE YOUR VOICE! Simply amazing work & so well done! I literally have no “critique”. Have you been doing voiceover/studying for a while? If you can share how you set up your studio and the gear you like, that would be so helpful. Bravo!

  • #58702
    burdahgirl
    Participant

    Practice practice practice 🙂

    Your Smile
    Your smile says a lot about you. If you let it. When you’re uncomfortable about your teeth, it’s easy to hold back your smile. Invisalign’s advanced technology now lets you straighten your teeth invisibly – so you can express yourself fully. And because they’re invisible, no one has to know about it. Hundreds of thousands of people have already discovered Invisalign. Maybe it’s time you were one of them.

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    • #59063
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Burdahgirl, really nice! I liked the smile in your voice and your voice is very well-suited for this commercial. Good pacing and flow throughout, really good work!

      Mary

    • #58733
      colleen
      Participant

      Amazing read, burdagirl! I really like your tone, confidence & smooth cadence.

  • #58694
    Robert Broussard
    Participant

    I just finished this morning. My 1sr attempt at righting my own script with music mixing. I am away from my home studio set up and am in a hotel, so the mic I am using is not near the quality of my normal setup. Please give any feedback good or bad. Thanks

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    • #59086
      SuperLuke
      Participant

      I think you did a good job making this in a hotel room

    • #58803
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Robert – great read and production! Sounds great, and very believable with your accent. Good script too! All around really good job.

      Mary

    • #58802
      kfvoice
      Participant

      This is great, Robert! I can vision a farm field, or construction site, with this read!

      Your pace was good; tone was spot on, and the music fit the script. Nice job writing it, too!

      Kathy

    • #58734
      colleen
      Participant

      I loved this, Robert! Perfect pitch & music for this ad. Nice job!

    • #58722
      reeyab
      Participant

      I love the timber of your voice! It’s perfect for this script, and the music is a great touch.

    • #58700
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      Your accent makes my Georgia heart happy <3 Great read!

  • #58679
    BrianWigginsVO
    Participant

    Did my first session with Jen Sims last night to get ready for my commercial demo. Here’s two of the scripts that we’ll definitely be including, would love feedback on my pacing, tone, connection with the material, etc.

    Canine Cancer Foundation:
    Through education, research, outreach, and fundraising, our goal is to eliminate dog cancer as a major health problem in dogs. Want to become part of the cure? Become a Core Member Today!

    Toyota:
    Electronic on-demand all-wheel drive. Android Auto and Apple CarPlay. An estimated 41 miles per gallon. The 2021 Toyota RAV4 LE Hybrid. See where today takes you.

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    • #59064
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Brian – good reads! For the Canine Cancer read, it was spot on. Very good flow, tone, pace and clarity. For the Toyota read, also very good, natural delivery. It sounded like you added a couple of words before 2021 – “the all new 2021…”? I realize this is for practice, just something I noticed. Great job!

      Mary

    • #58735
      colleen
      Participant

      Really enjoyed these reads, Brian…upbeat, smooth, personable and very professional-sounding. Great job!

    • #58701
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      Hey Brian, these are both awesome reads, and sounds like you still have plenty of time for polishing. If I had to be really picky I might say that the second read could be a little more exciting in the tone? Still a great read.

    • #58696
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      Brian, both sound good. You voice a very good fit for the material. Tone, pitch and pace are also well done.

  • #58619
    burdahgirl
    Participant

    Commercial feels like such a struggle for me! Thank you for all of your advice and feedback <3

    “Revlon High Dimension Color Accents
    Comb. Highlight. Gorgeous. New Revlon High Dimension Color Accents Highlighting kit. The Breakthrough? An exclusive applicator comb that regulates the right amount of color every time. So you get Salon style highlights from root to tip. Fast. Easy. Beautiful. For natural and color treated hair. In 3 universal shades. One of them yours. Only Revlon makes it. Only you make it unforgettable.”

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    • #58657
      kfvoice
      Participant

      burdahgirl… You’re a natural.

      Nice job!

      Kathy

    • #58642
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      Burdahgirl, that was a perfect fit for your voice. The pace and were very good!!!!

    • #58624
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Burdahgirl! Great read! Nice flow and smile in your voice. I could not tell that this is a struggle for you! It sounds nice and flows well. Good job!

      Mary

  • #58617
    RYoung
    Participant

    Sorry folks but Collen reminded me I had another take of this one I forgot about, had to put my music in, thanks for listening!
    The Power of True
    What do we mean when we say “the power of true”?
    The core of it starts with curiosity. Because everything starts with curiosity. It’s the rocket fuel of creative ideas and bold thinking.
    What does curiosity look like in action? It looks like what we do at Fleishman Hillard, every day.
    When clients come to us, we embrace their challenges. We listen, we explore, we empathize, we learn. Insights and solutions bubble up from there…grounded in who we are as an agency and who we are as human beings: confident, honest, diverse, real . . . true.
    This is our purpose – – to be bold . . . and to stay true. Our clients can do amazing things with that in this complex world. With our help, they can take risks, inspire, grow, break through, disrupt industries, and make a transformative impact on the world.
    Pretty powerful, right?
    Be Bold. Stay True.
    This is what we mean by the Power of True.

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    • #58774
      chas82
      Participant

      Very nice modulation and pacing start to finish. All of the lists were especially well done, each sounding different than the others. I’m always amazed at how just a little variance in inflection can produce great results. Good job sir !

    • #58736
      colleen
      Participant

      Very nice,R! Your read was slower & the music was a perfect touch. Keep up the great work!

    • #58664
      RYoung
      Participant

      Thanks to all for your feedback, much appreciated!

    • #58656
      kfvoice
      Participant

      I like this version of the The Power of True script, RYoung! With the music, it sounds great!

      I have a couple of minor suggestions for feedback.

      When you say, “Pretty powerful, right?”, trying changing your pitch up with the word “right?”

      The last two lines:
      Be Bold. Stay True.
      This is what we mean by the Power of True.

      These sound like tags lines, and perhaps insert a longer pause between these lines, and “Pretty powerful, right?”

      Just a couple of thoughts. Overall, a nice read!

      Kathy

    • #58643
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      Hello, I like the read. I do think the background music was slightly louder than it should be and over shadowed your reading a little.

    • #58641
      mrtripo9
      Participant

      Sounds very professional 👌

    • #58625
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi RYoung! Very good read and production! Nice pace and flow throughout. Your voice has a very nice warmth to it. Good pauses and emphasis on words. Great job!

      Mary

    • #58621
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      What a great read! I think you could give the lines “Be Bold. Stay True.” there are the end a little more differentiation since that’s the big takeaway. But great job, especially with all of those lists!

  • #58612
    svenbot5000
    Participant

    Hey everyone! Here’s another practice read!

    Freshii

    At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!

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    • #58737
      colleen
      Participant

      This was a great read, svenbot! Energetic, confident, creative…

    • #58723
      reeyab
      Participant

      I also love how clearly your enthusiasm for the material comes through! Awesome job! I would definitely recommend slowing down a bit, especially when you are listing the different bowl options. I also think a little more of a pause before the last sentence would be helpful to distinguish from the “pitch” part of the script to the tagline – giving the summation a bit more finality.

    • #58655
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Good job, Sven!

      I agree with our fellow VO members that your enthusiasm for the script came through the read, and your voice fits the script well.

      My suggestion is to slow down your read just a tad, but not too much, and give more pause between your sentences.

      I hope this helps!

      Kathy

    • #58626
      mkell755
      Participant

      Great job Svenbot! Good energy and enunciation throughout. I liked “pop of pineapple” with the strong “p” sounds. Good job!

      Mary

    • #58622
      burdahgirl
      Participant

      Great job! Your voice suits this read so well, and I would like to order a bowl now! My only comment would be an editing one – seems like there is a little noise between each line, but that’s easy enough to edit out. The read itself was stellar 🙂

    • #58616
      RYoung
      Participant

      Very nice take on this style of restaurant script I like it. I especially like the pop description and emphasizing 1299, good take on this and thanks for sharing!

  • #58603
    katelyndawnvo
    Participant

    Good evening folks. Well here is my first “narration” read. I start my training this week for narration. I am just flying by the seat of my pants on this one haha! Any feedback is appreciated.

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    • #58691
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Thanks for the positive feedback you guys 🙂

    • #58644
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      Kate, very good!!

    • #58627
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Katelyn – nice read! Very clear and with good flow, and appropriate emphasized words. Good job!

      Mary

      • #58638
        mrtripo9
        Participant

        Great read , I can certainly learn from this

  • #58599
    RYoung
    Participant

    I am using new equipment, finally got away from my USB mic. Tring out this Scarlett Solo Studio package 3rd generation, any comments are welcome!

    The Power of True
    What do we mean when we say “the power of true”?
    The core of it starts with curiosity. Because everything starts with curiosity. It’s the rocket fuel of creative ideas and bold thinking.
    What does curiosity look like in action? It looks like what we do at Fleishman Hillard, every day.
    When clients come to us, we embrace their challenges. We listen, we explore, we empathize, we learn. Insights and solutions bubble up from there…grounded in who we are as an agency and who we are as human beings: confident, honest, diverse, real . . . true.
    This is our purpose – – to be bold . . . and to stay true. Our clients can do amazing things with that in this complex world. With our help, they can take risks, inspire, grow, break through, disrupt industries, and make a transformative impact on the world.
    Pretty powerful, right?
    Be Bold. Stay True.
    This is what we mean by the Power of True.

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    • #58692
      RYoung
      Participant

      Thanks to all for your feedback!

    • #58654
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi RYoung!

      You have an easy listening style of voice — it was a nice read!

      I, too, would echo some other comments here, and be mindful of tone, and upward pitch where not needed.

      Kathy

      • #58686
        SuperLuke
        Participant

        Awesome! I like the “go-with the flow” easy-going feel in your performance.

    • #58630
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi RYoung! Very nice! You have such a nice warm voice that is easy to listen to. Very good flow and pauses where needed throughout. Good job!

      Mary

    • #58611
      svenbot5000
      Participant

      Wow I love your voice! It’s perfect for something like this. I would recommend playing around with the tone and pace when you’re describing who human beings are to keep it from sounding flat. Great job!

    • #58608
      colleen
      Participant

      R-
      This is a well-written script…and I thought you sounded clear & professional and have a nice rich vocal tone. I thought the read was a bit fast and heard upward inflections on the word “curiosity” both times in line three and the word “true” at the end of line six, as well as elongations of other words that made it seem a bit choppy and not super-confident sounding. Looking forward to hearing your final version of this!
      ~colleen

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