First attempt at figuring out my home studio, first attempt at audacity, first time figuring out how to upload before a coaching… Did not go well. Sorry, Art!
Hi Laura! Very pleasing voice and good enunciation. Just listen to yourself and try to smooth out your read; right now, it sounds like you’re reading. Good job!
Hello All!
I would love your feedback on my commercial training homework. I’m trying to work on different characterizations and tones depending on the commercial. Any feedback would be amazingly helpful and appreciated.
All great reads.
The Old Navy and Sesame Place reads were lively. I was anticipating a melody behind your words. I actually envisioned watching a commercial while listening.
The Snapple read was good also but I was expecting a little more liveliness in your tone.
Hi Sarania! I love your voice, very energetic. For old navy, I noticed a pattern of each sentence ending in a sort of down tone. I would recommend varying the end of each sentence , so some sentences end go up and down. I think this would help keep listeners attention.
For Sesame Place, I noticed that the word “Sesame” repeats a few times. I would recommend vary your tone for each “Sesame.”
Lastly, for Snapple. I hear that you are doing a sort of grocery store loud-speaker character. It’s a very cute piece of copy and well suited for your voice. My tip, I would try really visualizing who this character is and who this character is speaking to. Maybe picture yourself speaking into the phone from behind the counter at a store. This should help bring this to life a bit more.
Overall very nice reads, I think your voice is great for this copy!
Hello Sarania – what a bright voice you have! On Old Navy, when you say “percent off”, it sounds like “percen toff”. Listen to yourself saying it with a soft “d” sound or dropping the “t” altogether and see what you think.
On Sesame Places, I agree with Chloe’s suggestion for varying “Sesame”, but otherwise think its great – your voice is PERFECT for that spot!
I understand what you are shooting for in Snapple, but it sounds very mechanical – sometimes almost forced. I think Chloe’s suggestion is excellent that you visualize speaking into the phone at the back.
Had some issues cleaning up the audio. Any and all feedback is welcomed. Scripts are listed below:
Cosmos
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.
Pokémon: The First Movie – Mewtwo
A human sacrificed himself to save the Pokémon. I pitted them against each other, but not until they set aside their differences did I see the true power they all share deep inside. I see now that the circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.
California
It’s easy to understand why the United States went to war to get California. A land full of wonders, where one man’s chance discovery triggered a mad rush for gold. And where a new generation of marijuana growers is testing the limits of the law. Full of ancient forests and volcanic forms and a valley that’s also the hottest place on earth.
Enjoy spectacular views along the Pacific Coast Highway or soar over beaches and wine country. Explore Big Sur redwoods and cross the Golden Gate Bridge into the heart and soul of this magnificent state. It’s a region full of character, from movie stars to silicon valley giants to amazing natural wonders. Join us as we visit the Golden State of California.
Great reads. Technical thing, for some reason the audio is only coming through one side (ear). You might be having some audio issues so just something to look out for in the future.
I do really like your delivery on Cosmos. If I had to say anything, maybe slight variation in your tone as you read would help it sound a little less stilted? Otherwise, you sound very much like a narrator of a science education film.
Interesting take on Mewtwo! The performance you gave is definitely that lofty, high thinker attitude of Mewtwo but I did hear at some points it sounded like you were reading rather than performing. But it was only a few small points.
California was my favorite read of yours! You sounded engaged in the information which made me really pay attention to what you had to say. I think you said some words a bit too fast. But otherwise, I thought the read was very, very good.
Both reads were great. In the first read it seems you sped up a little bit toward the end and in the second read the first time you said “hazards” needed a little more pronunciation. Besides that it was awesome. Keep up the great work.
You have a great calming voice. I would say that for this type of script, you could slow your pacing down just a bit and speak a little softer. It could help to slow the pace down if you were maybe to inhale and exhale with the listener even if it was not audible.
Hi everyone! These are for my latest training session and a couple of them are redos(with suggestions from feedback from my last posting)
Thanks again in advance!
Fish Boil
Even people who don’t like fish, have been known to like this fish. That’s why a fish boil is a must-do experience when you visit Door County. It all starts with a blazing bonfire under a
kettle of salted water. People circle around to warm themselves and take in the crisp smell. When the temperature is just right and the crackle of the fire is just loud enough, the boil master adds a basket of potatoes and onions to the kettle. A few crackles later, the mild whitefish steaks, fresh from Lake Michigan, are delicately lowered in. At just the right moment, kerosene is tossed into the fire, exciting the blaze and causing the water to boil over, dramatically carrying off the fish oil that has collected on top. The fish are pulled out and greeted with a generous drizzling of butter. Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.
Texicon Family
“Hey there new employee, or should we say, new family member. As a member of the Texicon family, we want to formally introduce you to your new home, but not too formal because that’s just not our style. Now you’ve already got your new uniforms and met with our incredible CEO, or head of the family as we like to call him. Now it’s time for me to bring you up to speed on what your days are going to be filled in with. Make sure you grab some of the complimentary cake you have in front of you, we love cake here so you’re going to have to get used to that, and see what the rest of your time at the Texicon household has in store for you!”
Jerry Seinfeld
The move to New York meant returning to his roots for Seinfeld, who was born April 29, 1954, in Brooklyn and raised in the Long Island town of Massapequa (which he has always joked was an old Indian name meaning “by the mall”). After graduating from Queens College, Seinfeld appeared at New York comedy spots while supporting himself with odd jobs, including selling lightbulbs over the phone and waiting tables at Brew and Burger. As his act grew more polished, he honed the wry observational style that was to become his trademark.
Educational Explainer Video Intro Only – Real Estate
Would you like to buy a house?
Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.
Marco: you’re clearly a pro: both were excellent – conversational, natural…sounds like you’re talking to a friend, but has the crispness of a professional. Nice tone and control of your instrument. “NASDAQ” had a sense of authority to it.
hi Nik!
very cool you shared multiple takes – always good to see (or hear), side-by-side, your adjustments. clear, crisp articulation and great pacing. I do get some hesitation in the delivery..maybe that’s not the right word, but I feel there was the start of some power, but faded a little.
Hi Nik,
I think you have a very pleasing and clear voice. So aside from the reverb in the recordings (which I’m sure you will fix as time goes on with proper treatments), your reads were good. I would suggest when reading a list of things like the “Make them, share them, store them, invent” part, try to give different inflections for each part. Otherwise it sounds pretty monotone throughout. Also, I couldn’t really make out the last word ‘invent’ which may be due to the reverb.
Would love your feedback on the below reads for me and my Coach to review for homework. Please be brutally honest: we’re working on specific areas for improvement..I won’t mention them here, so as not to bias you, Lol!
A beautiful and clear voice! I could certainly see you voicing narrations such as the Niagara Falls recording. There were some plosives in both reads. Not many but a few. I love the ‘smirking’ tone of “See you later alligator” – that came through loud and clear. Great job!
Hi there…loved the reads – especially the very poetic feel the Niagra Falls one had.
My only comment would be that the Lubriderm one sounded a bit rushed at times.
Also for some reason, the word “rises” in Niagra sounded like “rices.”
Other than that, brilliant work!
thanks so much, Nik! and, yes – you picked up on one of the areas, for sure, Lol! I’ll keep working on it. really do appreciate your time in listening 🙂