The Art Of Staying Silent
-I have had this overbearing sense
of ambiguity, ever since he died. When I walk around the place, everyone in the world is watching me, but no one cares what I do. I am lost in my own world, without any escape. I can’t think straight. I become completely disoriented whenever someone obstructs my inner monologue. I sometimes momentarily forget everything about myself. Everything just becomes a blur. I have kept my mouth shut from the world about my brother, I have spoken to myself, I have brought it upon myself to deal with my own problems.
But being stuck in my own mind, with no one talking about my brother… it makes you forget things. His name. His birthday. How old he was when he died. The colour of his hair. The colour of his eyes. For now and forever, he is a figment of my imagination. A mere mist of history that wafts its way out of my mind. I am stuck in a sea of my own thoughts, and the world doesn’t realise. No one is dipping their feet into the water to see how it ripples, because there is a sign saying ‘Caution! Deep Water,’ and it scares everyone. No one want’s to fall in. No funeral. No Birthday celebrations. No nothin’. Just forget. Just forget and move on… move on. But why? Why am I not allowed to remember anything about him…