[Terra Ashe]

Hi! You have a very bright and positive tone with this, which I think is right direction for it. I think it could be a more conversational(you had a fabulous conversational part at the “no promises on less mess but definitely…” section try bringing in more of that) if you don’t already have someone specific you are telling about this. One other thing, there is a lot of this vs that in this script, play with those differences more. Good job!