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#91944
Declan Waters
Participant

Hi Steph – nice reads! Some notes:
1. I like the tone of your first take the best – it’s the most casual and laid back ie conversational, in my mind.
2. I like the speed of #2, and the passion of #3, but I think overall you achieve conversational tone, audience specification, and lack of micro pauses best in #1.
3. To nitpick, there is a micropause before the word “happier” in #1 that disrupts the flow a little bit, I think.
4. (Referring to #1) Your diction overall is great, though I noticed the word “and” (something I struggle with, so I notice it in particular in other people’s reads) sounds like “an” without the D at the end of the word to round it out.

I hope this helps!
Dec