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Your diction is impeccable and your tone is absolutely lovely. I’ll give the note as it was given to me, find your emotional connection to each bit of text, really visualize who you are talking to about it, and live in it. You find that natural pace at the end of Pilsbury with “let the baking begin!” I would personally love to hear the Aspen piece again. Your sincerity and timbre is suited for it but I want to hear you visualize what you’re selling.