[JDM]

Hi, all. I had my second coaching session last week, and I’m still working on making my narrations sound conversational–especially when the copy gets a bit grandiloquent. Here are two attempts at the Cosmos practice piece from the script library (the one with “blue nitrogen skies”). For the first one, I tried to be fairly conversational while not completely fighting against the rather high-flown register of the text. For the second one, I tried to push it about 15% further. Please let me know how you think I did and which one you like better. I’d also be grateful for any general critiques. Thanks!

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