Reply To: Feedback Forum
Just getting into commercial myself. Adding more oomph and emotion is challenging me. I can feel it trying to come out in your recordings. Maybe listen to “flown in daily” and see if that sounds a little bit as though it’s being read. As if it’s in parentheses. Not the way someone would speak.
Punctuation is a stumbling block for me. I read it and it can sound that way. Making it sound more conversational is the challenge. Picture telling someone about this. May not be the words you’d use, but kind of a looser flow. I think maybe lifting the ends of some of your words/sentences might help, but not everyone speaks that way and you don’t want to make it sound as thought you’re asking a question. But it can bring a little more spontaneous sound, I think.
I thought #2 was the best. Good work. Keep at it.