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The last two lines of the Harvey Home Theatre spot sounded really good and natural to me. Some of the early lines sounded like they were a little similar though. The script to me looks like it’s broken up into 4 small sections: Joke / Product Description / Joke Callback / Tagline. If you can weave those variations into your delivery, you can tell the story the script is trying to tell better.
You nailed that variation in the McCholesterol’s spot where it starts off announcery (on purpose), transitions to a candid hot-mic situation, then back to announcer voice for the end.
