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Hi AJS, I think your voice sounds great. I’m not sure if its the sound quality of if you’ve got a bit of vocal fry going on, but I’ve been told vocal fry can be a bad thing. Just what I’ve heard. I’m working towards my narration demo as well and one thing I’ve been told a couple of times is that we should let the narration “breath” more. I had a habit of rushing through my reads. Once I started slowing down, giving some space and pausing a bit, it started to sound much better. As good as your voice is, I’d bet that if you slowed your tempo just a bit, the reads would sound even better.
