Reply To: Feedback Forum
Hi, Kim! I just listened to your reads–you did a great job on all of them! Here are my notes for each:
Cool, Cool: I got the feeling of a kid’s education program from this read. The tone was playful, the “Waaa, waaa, waaa” bit gave a good chuckle, and I felt the sense of curiosity endowed in every word! Fantastic work!
Cod Heads: Personally, I don’t think the read is too fast and there is a satirical undertone, which works well for the copy. The main takeaway is that you drop words that could really use some emphasis (Islands, carcasses, and especially “child’s play”). Think about if a listener in the car or at home watching TV only half-listened to what you were saying. They would miss the specificity of the Lofoten Islands being exactly that. Carcasses will be implied by some listeners when they hear “headless fish,” but what if this was about headless fish dolls or headless fish shirts promoting a movie? You always want the listener to maintain full awareness of your subject even if they don’t fully tune in. For child’s play, it’s about making a strong ending–you don’t want to drop the last words because it drives the final point home in 99% (if not 100%) of scripts. Otherwise, it’s a solid read! Keep working at it! (Bonus points for staying on track even without perfectly following the copy!)
Rogers: A sweet read for sweet copy. Foundationally, it sounds good. You avoid making it sound sappy and it made the message more heartfelt and light. The burning questions I have here are: Who are you speaking to? Why do you want to tell them about Fred Rogers and his kindness? That will make this copy feel more natural as you read. The way you said “kind” felt awkward–almost as if you were stuck deciding between an uplifting, bubbly tone and a sweet, demure (for lack of a better term) tone. Just like with Cod Heads, don’t drop “children” at the end. Who did Fred Rogers’ innovation on television effect? Let your audience know the answer.
Overall, you did a great job! Cool, Cool is in a fantastic spot and the other two are on their way. Your diction is fantastic and I understood every word you said without needing to look at the copy! Your voice is also very clear and captures the moods of each piece!