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I thought the 7-11 script was great! Your timing is always so impeccable! I definitely felt like you pitched up when needed and could clearly hear the client’s name. That being said, when you got to the introducing 7-11 part, it felt like the story started to get lost a bit and it sounded more commercially and less conversational (if that makes sense), but you got that conversational tone right back in the last sentence. So, my one suggestion would be trying to figure out how to make the “sell” part of the script a bit more conversational. Otherwise, great work as always!
Wow! The tonal differences between these 2 scripts were so great and just go to show your range! My two notes for the Carnation script have to do with the line of ‘packed with protein…’: 1) enunciation because it felt like the words started to get a little muddled (specifically the word ‘nourish’) and it took me out of the script for a second and 2) focus on the whole sentence as a whole and the thought it’s trying to get across instead of the individual words themselves. Overall, I thought this was a really fantastic read and again, I could clearly hear the client’s name! Keep up the great work 🙂