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You have a really nice, soothing voice! For the Carnation read, it sounded very much professional with a bit of personality. It almost sounds conversational, especially in the specific change in tonality parts. However, I think you could allow it to be a little more conversational, talking as if you’re having a real conversation with a child or with the parent of a child who’s interested in this product perhaps.
For the JC Penny read, it sounded much more conversational and enthusiastic. However, I noticed that there are certain portions where your voice sounds kind of performed if that makes sense. For instance, in the “So use your head. Buy more, Save more. Only at JC Penney” line, although it’s hard to actually say those kinds of things in a real life conversation, incorporating reasons for why you’re saying what you’re saying can really help (I struggle with this myself). And same for the Allstate read, it had parts that sounded kind of performed. You’ve got the professional quality down, now it just needs to be a little more conversational (which I struggle with). This is just my impression, I’m not an expert of course. But, overall good job! Keep up the good work!