Reply To: Feedback Forum

Homepage Forums Community Feedback Forum Reply To: Feedback Forum

#72172
Alexandra Potocka
Participant

Great improvement from the last ones I heard! You sound so much happier, great job! I guess my advice is to look at adding some variety within your sentences.
For Atlanta Bread, focus on the tag line. It’s the most important part! Think about what the message is.. It’s MORE than just bread.. add a little emotion into it, like you’re trying to not just tell me something, but make me feel what you’re saying. (if that makes any sense at all)
For Special-K, I really like your first couple of lines. Emphasis in the right places ( wasn’t our idea etc..) There seems to be a slight awkward pause when you say.. never tasted so good.
A-1. I like how you sounded a little more natural in this one. play with going up at the end of a sentence instead of down, maybe? Just to add a little more variety.
Overall, great job!