Edge Studio has been making spoken word fabulous, for over 30 years! It’s done via voice coaching and voice over recording, in 50+ languages. We also donate to numerous nonprofits and politicians who we support.
I agree with Shmuel, you could try relaxing just a bit with it but your tone and tempo were great. On Hershey, try to give it a little more excitement and energy and speed it up just a bit. It is a tour, so you want to make sure you are heard, but you want to engage as well.