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#71103
brucem
Participant

Hi Cam,
My feedback, for the HIMS spot, overall I liked the pace and delivery. I would have put more of an emphasis on the product name HIMS in the second sentence by waiting a beat before finishing the sentence. “HIMS… makes it simple”. Also the phrase “get your relationship back on track”; I’m hearing an emphasis on the word “back”, I would probably want to emphasize “relationship”. Also for the Peacock spot, I had to go back and listen a second time to hear the product name “Peacock” at the beginning. I would start by saying Peacock clearly and waiting a beat to let it sink in before finishing the sentence. If nothing else, I would want the listener to walk away clearly hearing and remembering the product name. The spot has good energy and flow, about half way through I started to feel that I was listening to a list of indistinguishable items; I think there should be more variety in the delivery of each item on the list.