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Hi John!
First of all, fantastic voice!I could listen to you narrate just about anything.
What I wanted to add in addition to the other’s feedback, is to really pace yourself with the third reading. The way the script is written, it has a lot of ellipses and pauses built into it. Use those areas to slow down or take a breath! Scripts like these are honestly nice because it lets you know when you can take a pause rather than leaving it up to your discretion. And the employer likely wants a pause or lingering moment if they wrote it that way. Same thing goes for the words written in all caps- really emphasize those words! The employer must see importance in those if they elected to fully capitalize them.