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Hello… You have a very relatable voice – one that will serve you well soon. It appears you are being very careful in your read. It is a good read, but you can take it to another level. I listened to your recording a few times, and all I thought, was you were saying the words, but only partially owning the script. That is not a negative, as we all do that from time to time. If you were saying these exact script words to a friend, the words would just fall off your lips, because you wouldn’t be thinking about it. You would just be talking. Picture someone you trust when reading this again, and you will see a big difference. Also, don’t push the “Less mess” part – your voice actually got louder. It seems like a short statement like that should be emphasized, but it should be a flowing emphasis – nat an increased modulation. Overall, your talent level is infinite. Keep working on your craft, and you will be unstoppable.