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I commend you on your formal voice and tone. I think your recording quality is well established and you spoke at a very fitting tempo. However, you sound as if your pausing a lot, (some sound like they’re midsentence) and I’m told that that should be left for full stops or commas. You hit fitting words two and the tone you adopted really suits this script. Your performance still came off as monotone and could use more variety. I hope this helps.