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Hello! I think your voice is well suited for this type of script! I could also hear the humor within it, but I think the emotions could be brought out even more to show the transformation of the character checking in (formal, maybe uptight) to checking out (relaxed, refreshed, just a normal person again). I’d also try different versions of the last sentence to see if it can capture a bit of a “wink and a smile” feeling. Nice job!