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hey there, great work overall! The pace was very good and the mouth noises were small. How close to the mic are you and do you have a wind sleeve or pop screen?
In the 2nd read- I really liked the pause and tone change for the “pause” and “stop” sections, it draws just the right amount of attention on there. I thought that maybe the phrases after that may have been rushed a bit as the pauses themselves kinda make you try to find your back to your original groove.
A couple words it sounds like you’re working to annunciate carefully, like “enthusiasts”, can be bit choppy around the read- keep working the annunciation and to make it fit smoothly with the rest of the read. I totally get the challenge and still working on many of those myself!