Reply To: Feedback Forum

Homepage Forums Community Feedback Forum Reply To: Feedback Forum

#64825
Eliz_10Eliz_10
Participant

Hi Danvasq4030,
I have just a few comments on each of your entries. I really like the warm tone of your voice and pacing. I think you could convey more incredulousness in the first half (before the comma) of the first line of Motel 6. There is a small noise just before the word “save” in the second sentence. In the American Cancer Society commercial, could you dampen down the “th” sound at the end of the word “health”? Since adjectives our are friend and add color to a line, you might want to emphasize, a bit more, the word “lethal” in the second sentence. In the Wall Street Journal piece, there is a small noise at the beginning of the second sentence that begins with “To .” The word information in the third sentence that begins “The journal gives me all the business information…..” the word “information” is sort of fuzzy in the middle. Also, that sentence sounds kind of flat. Since the paper is so important to the character speaking, it probably should be given more emphasis. The only other issue is that there seems to be a little too much space between sentences. I really only heard this on the Wall Street Journal demo.
Good job,
Elizabeth