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#63975
Avatarartyom123
Participant

Great read, everything that you set out to do in the description, you have successfully accomplished perfectly and I applaud you. The opportunity I hear would be to make it very conversational. Your reads sound a bit announcy. You did give a feeling of talking to me in the part when you said “Peace of mind is waiting to meet you all across the country”, whatever you did there, try it for the rest of the text. Keep at it, great job!