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Hi Mary! I think bumping up the pace in areas will help it sound more conversational, rather than a bit methodical. Maybe practice by speaking these lines to your dog, or pretend that the audience is a teenager. That will take some of the stiffness out. I think your best line is definitely: When it comes to breaking this lethal habit, the most effective tool is willpower. That one sounds natural! Hope that helps! 🙂
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