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#62233
Avatarkbridges
Participant

Hello!

Good read! I like the energy and the variation in tone. I think “an Everypaw” ran together so it sounds like “aneverypaw”. I also think you could think of commas instead of periods between these phrases, since they seem like incomplete sentences. “An Everypaw… policy would be great… for extra peace of mind…,and fancies himself a daredevil”. It’s all part of the same thought although there are different ideas here. Just remember to keep them flowing into each other 🙂