Reply To: Feedback Forum
Hi Mary! This is a great script for your voice. The overall tone is definitively concerned, and if this were the actual commercial it would be completely believable! If I’m listening as though you are talking conversationally directly to me, it still seems a bit stiff (‘If you have plaque psoriasis and are experiencing a flare’). But I think the issue is the copy, not the delivery. Know what I mean? A conversation to a friend would be, “Hey, if you’re having a psoriasis flare, you should really go see your dermatologist.” So, it’s not that you don’t sound conversational; it’s that the script is clunky. Good lead in (short and quick and germane)!
