Reply To: Feedback Forum
I went to post this the other week, and it wouldn’t let me, so I here it is. I hope you see it!
Overall, these were good reads, danvasq!
Here is my feedback. These are minor, but it could cost you from landing a job.
Script 1: In the second paragraph/part of the script, it doesn’t sound like it flows well together. I hear “blips” between some sentences. Is this from editing? And, at the :46-47 mark, with the sentence, “You probably are already pretty familiar with the verse.“, you skip the word “pretty”. At the :55 mark, you say “arts”, as opposed to art, and then at 1:08, you skipped “of” in the sentence “And like all of his creations.” Be mindful of skipping words when reading, and sticking to the script. I would try varying your pitch just a little more on this list: the art, the verse, the design, the colors.
Script 2: Like Mary mentioned, you need to edit out that pause and deep breath (“flood. The vat…”) right before you read your last sentence. Otherwise, I am not sure if you intended to or not, but I would say good judgement in deciding not to pause after some of the commas in your last sentence. If you have taken the webinar “The Science of Speaking Like a Pro”, then you know it isn’t always necessary. This works, and if you haven’t done so already, try different reads to see what sounds best to you.
Script 3: Slight background noise. Easily fixed in editing for noise reduction.
These are just my thoughts. I hope this helps!
Good luck with the demo!