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Hi Katelyn — clear, and good pacing and tone.
I liked how you threw out the “comma rule” … from the webinar, Science of Speaking Like a Pro 🙂
With that said, there were some slight micro-pauses where there were no commas (While some of us might be working in government and others not… and As fast and efficient and as relevant as can be.), but it still seemed to work well with the emotional/conversational tone you were going for.
I hope this helps!
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