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I agree that the second was more effective because of the emotion you brought to it via the persona you assumed and by effectively varying pitch and tempo. This also made the tag line stand out strongly throughout the entire script.
I’ll be a little picky about the first. It seemed a little flat to me, starting with the tone of your initial “Hello”. I can envision a read of this copy being a little more energetic overall and especially when you get to the part that delivers the solution and its benefits after defining the problem. I also heard uptalk twice to (maybe) emphasize words that in context, didn’t need the uptalk – one was “disengaged” (@9 secs) and the other was “ease” (@19 secs).
Your voice was clear in both and the copy was nicely articulated.
Chas
