[AlexisVO]

Hi Sarah,
I think you did a great job with this. Everything is clearly pronounced and overall your pace was good. I like your emphasis on “immersed” and “whirlpool of life”. I think your read lost a little bit of the energy toward the end, starting around the “More people can…” sentence, and you seemed to slow down a bit too. If you can keep up the energy and enthusiasm through to the end, that would help strengthen the piece. Nice work!
–Alexis