[waninick]

Robert, a couple of thoughts:
This is a commercial for a pickup. Might want a different sound bed.
The voice is Perfect for this material, but seems quite clipped and distorted to me. Might be a bit hot on the mic.
Those two things aside, Great Read…! A little slower pace, and you won’t need so much music to make it to 30 secs. But, the voice, diction, and overall interpretation is perfect for this piece. Nice job.