kfvoice
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I really like this, Robert! I, too, agree with Mary and Brian about the tone. I also echo that while the tone is good, give it a little more energy.
What stuck out to me, is that I liked how you delivered, and had emphasis, on the first “fresh”, “waves”, and “sea” at the end of the sentences.
I don’t know what the script had, but it sounded like there was too long of a pause between “Wind Drift” and “does that too you.” I think you were trying to billboard and highlight Wind Drift, since it is the product you are selling. If you take out the pause, it would flow in that part of the script better. After that, the pauses work, to me anyway, because that is the tag line.
I hope this helps!
Kathy
Hi Mary!
Good catch with the extra word! I didn’t even notice, lol. This was not my best read, I agree. That first sentence did have quite a few “t’s”… my first recording was just awful, lol.
Thanks again!
Kathy
Thanks for the feedback, Brian! I really appreciate it!
I understand what you are pointing out. It definitely needs to flow better. As you say, it can be a struggle at times.
Thanks again!
Kathy
Your pacing was good. The third sentence was a bit of run on sentence, and it sounded better with some built in pauses. I know this is practice, however, just be mindful for an audition when it isn’t called for.
Kathy
Wow, awesome job on this long read, R! Your voice is perfect for this kind of script!
I echo what others have said. My feedback is that I noticed you changed a line, left out, or flipped a word with some lines.
These are the ones I noticed.
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap, — (you said “had just settled our brains”)
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, — (left out “dry”)
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, — (you flipped the words, and said, “in all”)
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; — (you said “on”)
He had a broad face and a little round belly, … (you flipped the words, and said, “round little”)Hi Robert!
Good read! Did you intend to stutter on the second “I” in your second sentence? It had a nice effect. I also noticed in the last sentence you said “that’s” as opposed to “that is“. However, while I think it had a more natural feel to the read, be mindful not to change the script for an audition. Minor detail.
— Kathy
HI there! Here is my feedback. I hope it helps! – Kathy
Overall, tighten up the reads on the first two scripts — don’t pause so long between sentences.
Script 1: I have found the Merriam-Webster website useful in double checking pronunciation of words, like for example, your read of stereoscopic. (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/stereoscopic)
Script 3: I felt this was the best read. I would play around with the delivery of “It’s Nike“, with the emphasis on Nike. That is what you are selling, so billboard the word to make it stand out more (kind of like you did with E Class).
Nice read and sound, Mary! In your third sentence there was a slight micro-pause mid-sentence. Overall, good job!
I hope this helps!
Kathy
