SuperLuke
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Nice commercial promotion. Good recording quality and performance.
While I enjoy hearing your voice in this performance, there are some parts where I feel you can work on pacing. In the beginning, after you say “puzzle solved”, take a brief moment to pause. It will grab your audience’s attention and they will wonder what puzzle is being solved. Maybe as you perform, “Because you’re worth it”, maybe slow it down a little bit.
Keep up the good work and hope this was helpful,
-SLHi Jack,
Comment: Good commercial performances. There’s also a good recording quality (i.e. having no background noises). I don’t know what your assignment was though.Critique: While you are staying point by point in reading and performing the commercials for buying Jack Daniels, Butter, and Bob being an idiot while still knowing to buy a product, I think you should experiment with your voice talent some more. Add more emphasis on keywords, like, “Giving the Right gift is Easy”, “that’s part of the Charm”, “Kerry gold”. “Bob makes Mistakes. a lot of them”. Try adding something to emphasize, to hint to a listener that bob is an idiot but he’s smart enough to buy the right product…
Hope this message helps,
-SLFor my Character Voice-Over demo and a session this upcoming Friday, my coach wanted me to practice the accent for Cockney and for Received Pronunciation (R.P). He also wanted me to keep all my characters sounding different from each other. Let me know what you think so far and I’ll look forward to feedback.
Script for the Magician in R.P
1) Ladies and gentlemen, this blade has been passed down through generations of magicians, like me. Its power is to be Respected and Feared. Very few may wield it. Oh no! What have I done?! (breaks off)
(Cuts off)
Script for Cockney Knight:
2) Sir Knight, you must save us from the dragon who swells in the Volcano…Why are you ‘iding behind your ‘orse? Mmmm. You ain’t a brave warrior at all. Oh, give me your sword and I’ll k**l it me self!So, is this a test preparation? I notice so far that your recordings reflect on academics and E learning-related materials. I don’t know the homework your coach asked for you to do. But I’d say if you are going for the E-learning genre in Voiceover, you are in the right direction. Are you trying to sound happy about what you are reading?
While listening to this performance, I hear this as something I might find associated with the Discovery Channel or Animal Planet. I don’t know what kind of homework your coach gave you to do. But maybe put more emphasis as you narrate “life from death” at the end because you’re saying there is something serious going on with the animals in the herd. Maybe put more emphasis as you describe the lion, the pride, the cubs, and the elephants, life-giving water etc.
I like how the first recording sounds different than the second, as far as voice. It helps distinguish the Allstate commercial from the Children’s book audiobook performance. Good job!
I agree that this performance read does sound monotone. I also hear that this is a commercial for the New York Times. It was good to listen to. If you’re aiming for seriousness in your performance, good job. A script would’ve helped me understand the seriousness of it all when I first listened to your performance.
Comment: I like how you are aiming for the commercial read. You have good enthusiasm in your voice as you perform. You keep the listener interested in the product you are talking about.
Critique: In the beginning, there seems to be a “roomy” sound in the background. It was hard to know what you were saying at first. Please consider inserting a script for the listeners. In the end where you say, “Simple basic steps in this video”, I heard an unnecessary pause that I think you can easily fix to make your commercial performance better.
Hope this helps
-SLI think your performance was great for a commercial. Your recording space seems to be good so far. I like how there’s no hiss or humming in the background and I can hear your talent in the practice script.
Hope this was helpful,
-SL
Hi Sarania,
Very good performance. Again, like the previous recording, it sounds like a good narration of an essay. I like how there’s no background noises and that I can hear you perfectly with your delivery. My only critique is that you include a script for the audience to follow along with.
hope this helps,
-SL
