RYoung
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looking for more sample work to add. Critique and comments welcome!
DELTA
WHEN WE’RE BORN. WE ARE MORE ALIKE THAN DIFFERENT.
BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, WE START TO BELIEVE THE MORE DISTANT WE ARE FROM EACH OTHER….THE MORE DISTANT WE ARE.
ITS NOT UNTIL WE VENTURE INTO THE WORLD THAT WE SEE ALL WE SHARE.
MAYBE THATS THE POWER OF FLIGHT.
DELTA ISN’T JUST FLYING TO BRING US TOGETHER….BUT TO SHOW, WE WERE NEVER THAT FAR PART TO BEGIN WITH
Delta is ready when you are!You seem to start off well and describing the illness it sounded somewhat realistic. However on a PSA you could milk it even more I don’t mean cry but you could have sounded even more sad LOL. Then I think this read needs to have a turn, as in the line these are the warning signs should be highlighted in a different tone from the description of her illness like almost Stern in stating that, lastly the solution could almost be a little bit upbeat whereas I think you followed the same tone throughout if that makes sense. PSA is usually require a lot of acting, good luck with your demo and I hope that helps!
Good natural type delivery on this! Only question I would have is the last line will see you there could have been a little more upbeat and maybe highlight the word you so that people think of themselves as The traveler hence good for the business. Hope that helps you!
I redid this one from the old feedback forum I believe trying to be a little more relaxed and realistic. Any of your thoughts are welcome!
Think Different – Apple Commercial (1997)
Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.Hi Doc, nice work on these, sound like you’ve been working hard! The podcast one is spot on in my opinion. Clubmed one is soothing the way you delivered it maybe a tad too slow? Mercedes one not sure, anyway good luck to you!
Brian, “Bravo” and glad to hear about your demo being nominated! It’s great to hear of these accomplishments thru this forum. Previously the only way was to contact other members thru messaging or emails. Congratulations and good luck!!!
RYoung
