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February 2, 2023 at 5:49 pm
#84006
RCampos
Participant
Lots to compliment here: the burst of “free” at the top, the chuckle, and the “hey” – all nice touches that make this very effective. I would suggest a couple of minor tweaks:
An ever so slight pause after: a while right? At the moment, the “well” feels like it comes too soon. You’ve got listener hooked and a little pause can build suspense.
And – “one all weather radial” runs together for me. Just a little differentiation here would help clarify the details of the deal. By the by, I listened to your comments on my AIG VO and made changes – just reloaded today. Would appreciate your take on it. Thanks!