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January 15, 2022 at 12:21 pm
#73602
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Participant
Hi Joseph. I really like your voice and pace – just a couple of thoughts:
On Dublin,
I especially like “ever burgeoning” – not easy to say clearly.
I would pause after “home to great writers” and before “like”.
You really emphasize “and” a couple of times, and in my opinion, they should be de-emphasized.
On Alaska, “this official” runs together a little bit.
I’m not feeling an excitement to go like I want to feel when listening to your invitation. It might even be enough to really emphasize planning a trip to “ALASKA”; that’s exciting!!!
You got this!