TimDKietzman
Forum Replies Created
-
Replies
-
Wow, I do think you pulled off a satisfying pace, and pitch throughout both scripts. None of the pauses mid-sentence were long enough to sound choppy and you kept a consistant tone throughout. However, I think your overall performance sounds like a machine or as if your reading off of paper, not really interested in the subject you’re explaining. Remember, people may be listening to this so they can learn, but it helps to make your explanation interesting for them too, that’s how students learn to like teaching lectures.
Hi everyone, coaching for my Narration demo continues and I have three more recordings that I would appreciate feedback on. How was my performance? Did I do well pronouncing words? Was I talking at a good tempo and differentiate lists and sentences well? How about my tone? Was I suitable throughout each script and match the mood of the words/sentences? Lastly, is my recording setup working well? Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks.
Neuroendocrine Tumors
Although pathologic concepts regarding squamous cell carcinoma and adenocarcinoma have remained relatively stable during the past 10 years, those regarding the class of neuroendocrine tumors have continued to undergo revision and refinement. Neuroendocrine tumors are defined as those that produce biogenic amines. Pathologically, this can be demonstrated by a positive argyrophil or argentaffin stain, the presence of neurosecretory granules by electron microscopy.LAB 203 Anniversary Script
There are thousands of personal stories that LapCop has been a part of from DNA testing which helps exonerate the innocent to developing drugs that can turn a disease from fatal to treatable. LapCorp has a continuing dedication to excellence felt from that first day in 1969 and still now 50 years on.Pablo Picasso
A woman is a woman, according to history. But to Pablo Picasso, a woman was something else again. A combination of lines, forms, and colors. Picasso changed the combination to suit his moods, and his result was seldom Eve-like. The woman may have elephant ears, crossed eyes, two noses. In the name of art, Picasso transformed natural appearances for well over half a century. People who don’t like unconventional art say he spoofed the public, and the public itself often scoffed at his works. When his chief masterpiece, Guernica, was first shown, many thought it looked like a jigsaw puzzle. But a multitude of artists now following in his footsteps believe Picasso was liberating art from age-old academic tradition.Mary, your voice is just right for Narration and the way you hit the words really kept my attention. You do sound authentic in your tone and as if your giving a tour to museum goers, though it does sound a little mechanical. Your tempo was also well paced, but it still sounded choppy due to your pausing in the middle of a sentence. You should only pause at full stops, commas, and semicolons. Also, some words like “career” sounded more like “creer.” I think the first one was best, but I would recommend you do the script again.
I am loving the tone you adopted. It sounds very fitting to a script like this. However, I’m with others in how it sounds awful choppy, more like your reading. Try pretending that you’re talking to someone and make it flow. Also, don’t overemphasize because that’s not something we do in a conversation. (Unless your eccentric, but most folks aren’t)
You have a great voice for these type of reads and for the target audience. I love the way you brought them to life and I would definitely consider the product. Only problem I have is that the Bass Pro shop read sounds like an announcer and I can clearly hear you breathing in the A1 commercial. In addition to performing, we need to know basic audio editing. Breaths are not what people should hear.
Well, I think both sound as animated as they should be for the types of reads they are. You hit good words and were mostly succinct in your pronunciation. Your tempo on the other hand needs work. I haven’t done promos, but I’m sure you need to consider the attention span of the viewers. Be quick but clear, as if they’re only stopping to catch their breath.
As for the tone, I think you need to be more interested in what your talking about. In promos and commercials, your trying to sell something to the listener, convince them to come by and sample your product. They won’t trust someone who doesn’t seem all that sure of herslef…Hey John, I listened to both of them and I have to say they are both very good. I think the second read was best. My experience tells me you should generally avoid emphasizing the last word in a sentence unless it’s a question or an exclaimation. If I were you, I’d emphasis visual and the first half of “appointments.” They’re both important words for the script. Your tempo and tone worked well, but I think the way you read: “using” was a little forced or too quick.
(On a side note, don’t make your sound file any longer than it has to be. I found it confusing and even with the script written out, feedback people may take a pass on your upload, because they don’t want to critique such a long read.)It’s been a while since I uploaded any scripts. I have begun prepping for my next demo in Narration. Any feedback is appreciated. My main goal was to speak at a suitable tempo and perform lists in a way that’s varied and interesting. Also, I tried something new with my recording setup, whatcha think?
4H (Corporate)
It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands weren’t in abundance. Luckily, kids were. By empowering the next generation to lead, 4H took root. And grew. Grew kids who are confident and strong. Who are curious enough to question and capable enough to find the answer. Who stick to a job until the job gets done. Who know how to work with others. And how to lead. 4H has kept right on growing. Out of the farms and into the towns. From the suburbs to the cities. Anywhere curiosity roams. And confidence thrives. Anywhere technology can be advanced. And achievement is valued. Anywhere positive change is possible. And giving back moves entire communities forward. When you think about it, it makes sense that we began with farming. After all, True leaders aren’t born. They’re grown. 4H GROWS HEREChildren’s Educational Space Game (e-learning)
Today we’re going to explore all of the planets in our solar system, and some other places as well. We’ll travel into the future when astronauts live throughout the solar system. On each world we’ll see what the weather is like, what we would wear, and what we would do to have fun! Grab your oxygen, put on your seatbelt, and let’s blast off!California (Travel Narration)
It’s easy to understand why the United States went to war to get California. A land full of wonders, where one man’s chance discovery triggered a mad rush for gold. And where a new generation of marijuana growers is testing the limits of the law. Full of ancient forests and volcanic forms and a valley that’s also the hottest place on earth.
Enjoy spectacular views along the Pacific Coast Highway or soar over beaches and wine country. Explore Big Sur redwoods and cross the Golden Gate Bridge into the heart and soul of this magnificent state. It’s a region full of character, from movie stars to silicon valley giants to amazing natural wonders. Join us as we visit the Golden State of California.Hey everyone, I just recorded three new reads. Some comments on a few of my uploads declared I sounded more like I was reading than speaking. In addition to adding my pop-filter, I’ve tried a new tactic and I’d appreciate anyone’s thoughts on my performance. Do I sound conversational? Any other feedback on my tone, pitch, volume and tempo would be great. Thank you.
You did great Jason! You had a consistent tone, you hit all the right words, and the tempo was fitting. Only thing I would suggest is you sounded like you were trying to finish the script too quickly and it made you say the words wrong. Other than that, well done.
