TimDKietzman
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This script has multiple lists, how did I do in bringing them to life?
Intuition
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Infiniti FX
They said an SUV would never have the heart of a sports car. They said an SUV would never turn heads. Or give directions. Or play movies. They were wrong. The 315-horsepower Infiniti FX. Rethink the SUV at Infiniti.com.Your performance is very fitting and well played out. My only thought is the ending: “Always Multipax.” I think it should have a different tone than the one you have. You don’t sound happy or confident enough in the product…
You’re on the right track, good work!
Tim D.Hello Mary,
This was well done. You enunciated good words and sounded conversational. You were pausing a lot though, and much of it was midsentence. My coach Art advised me to only pause at periods and commas. Also, it sounded like you said “ken” instead of “can.” Your tone leaves something to be desired. Indeed you sound confident but not very interested and I think that is crucial for commercial scripts.
I hope this helps,
Tim D.Your voice is very fitting for the read. You performed a good tempo and enunciated fitting words. Although, I personally think your tone makes you sound like a machine… It’s almost as if you’re just reading it without any apparent interest. If you want listeners to be attracted to your client, it’s important to sound interested yourself. Also, I think your listing of the products and percentages could do with more variation. (I would suggest enunciating the percentages in one, the products in another, you could even raise the pitch of “and.”)
All in all, you’re doing well. I hope this helps.You sir are FANTASTIC! You brought the script to life with perfect pace, fitting enunciations, and not too long of pauses. I would recommend though, unless this is your natural speaking voice, you should not perform with such a low pitch. You sound rather gravelly and I feel that sounds like you’re slacking off before the read is done. A relaxed tone is fitting, but don’t overdo it.
Hey everyone. Thanks for the feedback, I’ll definitely take it to heart. Although I wonder why I didn’t receive an email that you’d replied… The old Feedback Forum did that all the time.
Here’s another script I did. Do you think my acoustic set up works well? My main concern is if there is a noticeable hum from my computer… Any thoughts on my performance would also be appreciated. Thanks for the help.
Sandals
Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.Hey everyone, I am going to be recording my demo soon so I want to upload more. I’m still wondering about my recording accousitcs, do you think it works great? I’m pretty pleased with how the recordings turn out, but I wonder if my computer’s humming is messing with the recording… Also, if you have advice on my performance, I’d appreciate it.
Toddler Town Zoo
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