SuperLuke
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Considering how you perform in the 1st recording: you have good enunciation. But you could probably work on adding more enthusiasm to your voice. Show the listener that you enjoy what you’re advertising.
The second and third commercial reads were great. You sounded energetIc, happy, and excited about the store and the product you were advertising.Good enunciation.The two recordings sound different enough. I got a feeling that you were going for an airplane commercial when I heard it. The second recording sounded more like a discovery channel documentary. You did a good job recording and performing. My only critique is that you sound less enthusiastic in the first recording. In the second I can imagine you were more excited about where you were going/ what you were talking about.
Wow, this is great for a self-produced demo. The delivery of the commercials was excellent. Are you a pro?
I auditioned for the lead character in a TV show cartoon called “Bit War”. I followed all of their instructions on how to sound and what to say; slating, performing the dialogue for the character as a sympathetic yet cold tough guy, and making a sound for when I punch, have a special attack, and so on.
I even auditioned for a robot named Jitter as well.
Please feel free to listen to my audition, make a comment, and let me know how well I performed.
So, in the beginning I hear a pre-life of “Mmm’ or “Hmm” Might want to take that part out. As far as the commercial, try to sound more conversational with your performance, “See, that’s me in the newspaper”. As far as tone, your mood sounds the same throughout. Add some energy and more excitement, “where nobody has gone before”.
What I would do is review the acting beats and see what you are aiming for. Anyway, that’s just my opinion.
hope this was helpfulThe first performance sounds distorted. But you did a good job with delivering the narration in both takes. Maybe slow down as you perform “I’m sure to get a full serving” a little bit, so it doesn’t sound so rushed.
It was a good performance, Bill. Very nice. You don’t sound Choppy at all.
I could hear you pause a little bit, running out of breath at times. Good tone and tempo. Good enunciation. Have you tried the words to time calculator? I think the trick is to breathe through the nose. That, and there’s a trick I learned here about how much you can say in a given time, with a pencil, or pen, in your mouth. And see how many words can you get out in rehearsal before you have it at the right speed and length you need. Don’t perform the take with the pen in your mouth though. It is meant to help build your muscle memory and keep things going without pausing at the wrong time.
