SuperLuke
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I liked both raw performances. But I prefer the one that sounds more positive an excited/happy in the commercial. The first recording I herd sort of sounded like the guy was sad or depressed. Good quality recordings too!
Thank you Mary for your feedback. Yes, I’ve been working on maintaining my character’s texture along with my speaking. Sorry that some words don’t sound right.
Welcome to Edge!
I see some great potential in this performance. Your coach will help you figure out your progress. I think there should be more emphasis on “please don’t start fires of any kind” and “you make it work”.To get in touch with my old man character in my demo, I decided to read some poetry as the character. I also would like some feedback on my performance and recording quality (i.e. loud enough, can you hear me perform, how’s my performance).
Script: There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream has come true, (Laugh) Oh I enjoy poetry
I enjoyed the second performance the best. It has the right feel for the commercial you’re trying to perform. It keeps the audience interested, keeping their attention and hearing what you have to say.
The first read was kind of slow and didn’t have as much energy.
hope this critique is helpful.I think that both reads are good for this advertisement. Good recording quality as well. I think you can try and merge the two reads together. Find a balance between the two performances that will really make us, as listeners, want to go on a vacation by the beach and a vacation.
As a matter of picking between the first and second performance, I thought the second read was more heartfelt and luring the audience into the commercial and making us want to be there. Hope this critique is helpfulI enjoyed this performance. Critique: Make the whole thing consistent with the ending and you will be all set!
