Stephen Winburn
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Hello again friends!
We’re narrowing down scripts for my reel and this is one I like so I’ve provided 3 reads. I was playing with different tones for each read so as a general note choosing which of the 3 you prefer is helpful! For more specific notes i was asked to focus on being conversational, having a specific audience in mind, and avoiding micro pauses: any specific notes on those 3 things would also be much appreciated!
I apologize in advance for the shoddy microphone!
-StephHi all,
I’ve finally gotten around to doing the homework for my next coaching session! I decided to do the same script twice rather than two different ones; one focusing on being conversational at what i feel is a natural pace, and the other focusing on pace and tone specifically.
My usual headset was on the fritz today so please excuse the sound quality in the recordings! Thank you in advance!EDIT: I accidentally uploaded it 3 different times and can’t remove them🙃 just the first two files friends, apologies!
Hi Matt!
I think your reads are spot on for pacing and diction, very well done!
With the tiger shark, something about the read made the tone of the piece unclear? I can’t put my finger on it, but listening to it i wasn’t sure how serious the danger was, if that makes any sense.
And the Walgreens piece, tone was perfect! I would say that– if I’m understanding conversationality correctly, that this sounded a bit announcer-y. Like this was a group onboarding rather than a one-on-one conversation.
I hope that’s helpful to you!Hi Chris!
I thought this was a great read and that the tone and pace were great and it sounded conversational! There was just a wee diction issue on “opportunity” where the last few syllables got jumbled.
Hi Jenn!
I think your pacing and tone for Chow Now work great for that piece, well done!
As for the Gertrude Bell piece, i think the pacing for its current tone works well, but I think the tone might be more somber than the reading calls for. The text talks about Gertrude’s “passion” and “defiant independence”, and says her life was ultimately a great adventure! I think the tone should reflect more of that vitality that Gertrude’s autobiography is supposed to inspire in its potential readers.Hi Michele!
I just listened to all 3 recordings and i gotta say to my untrained ear they all hinged on perfection! Very hard to come up with any meaningful notes!
What i will say is,having listened to all 3 back to back, the tone strikes me as the same even though the pieces are for 3 different narration styles. It’s especially noticeable in the Hudson Valley piece where it seems like the text depicts the narrator as a proud New Yorker, the tone that was spot on for 4H– and maybe slighty out of place for Manufacturing if I’m really being nitpicky– feels like it’s at odds with the text for Hudsom Valley.
I hope that’s helpful!Hi Jacqueline!
I listened to both recordings and i think the Toyota recording is spot on for pace and diction. I’m still learning what it means to sound conversational so no notes from me there!
The Revlon recording i do think the pace is a little hurried though the diction is fine. Listening to the two pieces back to back the Revlon piece just doesn’t carry the same energy as the Toyota one– each line drops at the end, if that makes sense? I’d suggest, as they say, having an opinion about the product and see how that informs your delivery!Hi Tracy,
I listenend to your original takes as well as this one and it’s definitely been an improvement! I could really hear the smile in your voice for the in both baking and retail. Personally I thought the pacing and tone for the first retail read was more appropriate, even if it wasn’t considered conversational.Hello everyone! I am Steph, and this is my first real attempt at recording something for the forum after a long wait but I hope you won’t go too easy on me!
I’m looking into narration for my demo and I’m trying my hand at the Inspiration/Meditation scripts today.
I’ve uploaded 3 reads of the “Awaken Mental Freedom” found here in the script library.
The first is my neutral read: how I read it without too much self-direction or second guessing.
The second is focusing on slowing the tempo since that is something I was critiqued on in my coaching session.
And the third is shifting the tone of the piece to something a bit more actionable, we’ll say.My only disclaimer is that I know for myself that I wasn’t sitting comfortably in my “signature voice” today, so if at any point you find yourselves thinking maybe a glass of water is what this reading needed, I think so too😂
Looking forward to the critiques🖤
I love the quality of your voice and your range is great for these copy!
I do think what will help with the diction is to slow the pace down a little. “When aspiring writer Zora…” all got a bit blended together, for example.
Possibly, to practice, do a recording that you feel is actually *way too slow* but intentionally over enunciate every word. You should be able to feel the difference in your diction from when you are intentional with every consonant!
