SFish

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  • in reply to: Feedback Forum #59580
    SFish
    Participant

    New commercial homework! Kinda outside my comfort zone, so I’d love feedback on how I can improve this – sounding enthusiastic without sounding fake.

    We all deserve more summer. So DQ is bringing you two summer favorites in one with the new Drumstick Blizzard with peanuts. A Drumstick, the original sundae cone, and our world-famous vanilla soft-serve. Let’s fit more summer into every bite. DQ. Happy tastes good.

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    in reply to: Feedback Forum #59579
    SFish
    Participant

    Your voice and energy are perfect for kids’ narration! My only note is that you should watch your articulation of ending consonants, but you sound great!

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #59524
    SFish
    Participant

    You have a naturally resonant voice with a nice sound and very good articulation. I think that for these luxury car brands, though, the tone is more languid. You could go a little slower and have a lighter/smoother touch with the accented syllables within words and beginning consonants. Like the words are being spoken by a guy in a suit running his hand over a very sleek new car.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #59522
    SFish
    Participant

    I think this is a really nice read with a lot of enthusiasm. You have a nice pace and feel for the copy. To add to the “warm and inviting” feel, I’d think about 2 things: picking 1-2 operative words in each sentence to emphasize (when you have more, it sounds more sales-pitchy) and breath support when you’re at the high and low ends of your register so you can vocalize without strain. I heard the smile in your voice at the end, and I liked it.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #59485
    SFish
    Participant

    A true force of nature is undeniable. Makes waves. Can’t be tamed. Begs to be heard. And inspired a true original. Responsibly sourced. Sustainably made. With natural ingredients. For a moisture that’s relentless. A true force of nature. Just like you. Burt’s Bees.

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    in reply to: Feedback Forum #59338
    SFish
    Participant

    Some commercial practice – thanks for your help!

    This is a happy belly. This is too. And so is this. At Happy Family, we’re on mission to keep them that way. It’s why our delicious organic yogurt is made without any added sweeteners, because that adorable belly is sweet enough already. Introducing Happy Baby and Happy Tot whole milk yogurt with probiotics. Because happy starts on the inside.

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    in reply to: Feedback Forum #59337
    SFish
    Participant

    You have a nice smooth voice and easy delivery. I think it might help you to have more “skin in the game” – really believing and picturing the things that you’re saying so that you sound invested without overselling.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #59336
    SFish
    Participant

    You have a really fantastic voice! It’s very clear and has a lot of character and weight. The pacing on this read seems a little fast to me, and I think it might help to ask the questions as though you expect to get an answer. Thanks for posting!

Viewing 8 replies - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)